tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89544744363588791462024-03-13T16:33:46.829-04:00~It's the little things in comics...The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-62541168604440048702016-05-22T20:04:00.000-04:002016-05-22T20:10:31.721-04:00Search Keywords V: Geeks are a sad and perverted lot... (NSFW)<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">~I </span>guess that makes me an enabler.</b><br />
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I've <b>failed</b> as your sponsor... <br />
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<i><b>So,</b> </i>here's a bunch of<b> porn</b> that sad, lonely people searched for and <i>accidentally</i> ended up at my blog instead... for SOME reason:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Comicshoppeur/marvel-comics/" target="_blank"><img alt=" https://www.pinterest.com/Comicshoppeur/marvel-comics/" border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YtlBvIOd5gk/V0H6quo3CpI/AAAAAAAAChc/iz26sGwyrZEE3U4u-y3gJZ-GtFhSu_ibACLcB/s1600/gwen-stacy.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a name='more'></a>-Yeah, sure; fictional character Gwendolyne Stacy is hot. No argument there, I guess.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Comicshoppeur/marvel-comics/" target="_blank"><img alt=" https://www.pinterest.com/Comicshoppeur/marvel-comics/" border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T3zQ6eEtoLc/V0H6q5IYlfI/AAAAAAAAChg/6aNJI5IvHjs1x-ZZpm1f36D0bxXy3pJoQCLcB/s640/MJ.jpg" width="410" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(<i>Sorry,</i> I prefer redheads over blonds just about eights days a week...) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">BUT: "gwen stacy fucked by lizard porn animation" is a thing that exists... because the internet. <i> </i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Supply- meet demand. <i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>*sigh* </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ybq1ELA9pw4/V0H9NXyqo2I/AAAAAAAAChw/U04G93FgMQc2WFGxF7rQ11T7MMQ3CRelACLcB/s1600/lizard-ass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ybq1ELA9pw4/V0H9NXyqo2I/AAAAAAAAChw/U04G93FgMQc2WFGxF7rQ11T7MMQ3CRelACLcB/s320/lizard-ass.jpg" width="233" /></a><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DQZHhuqfPro/V0H9M6E8s_I/AAAAAAAAChs/YpLA2jrSaIsrpxxXE0SLU7UMIEJinNpBQCLcB/s1600/lusciouslizard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DQZHhuqfPro/V0H9M6E8s_I/AAAAAAAAChs/YpLA2jrSaIsrpxxXE0SLU7UMIEJinNpBQCLcB/s320/lusciouslizard.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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And don't even get me <i>started</i> on all the Green Goblin/Gwen Stacy shit that<i> also</i> came up when I searched for this myself...<br />
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DAMN YOU, <span class="st">Joseph Michael Straczynsk!!! </span><br />
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<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="st">Okay, okay- keeping with supporting Spider-Man characters,<b> and</b> being open-minded, as well as an equal opportunity offender: "i draw porn venom and carnage fuck":</span></div><span class="st"><br />
</span> <span class="st"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnhDGshZ7d4/V0H_mZ_9cFI/AAAAAAAACiA/8CJU91kLhl0GsaniYhFTH6qZUrhUBVccwCLcB/s1600/Venom-Carnage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnhDGshZ7d4/V0H_mZ_9cFI/AAAAAAAACiA/8CJU91kLhl0GsaniYhFTH6qZUrhUBVccwCLcB/s640/Venom-Carnage.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...this makes me laugh<b> so hard</b>...... <span class="st">Are <i>we not doing</i> '<i>phrasing</i>' anymore?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
This image <i>came</i> up as well- <span style="font-size: x-small;">(So we're just done with 'phrasing', right? -That's not a thing anymore?)</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">-it's actually pretty cool looking: </div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="512" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yac9WgYV7qM/V0H_jyLub8I/AAAAAAAACiE/sOWfNi5hFlU31tvsra3xiYGZ58RyiDfkgCKgB/s640/MJCARNVEN.jpg" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...but, again- redheads: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="st">Silly me, when I search for porn, Google must think I'm <i>SO</i> fucking <b>boring. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h2KYHLLIRYk" width="420"></iframe><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="st">-Because I just pull a Sarah Silverman and go to YouPorn</span> and type my search-words in: </div><div style="text-align: center;">"Gang. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Amateur. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Cum. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">High-fives..." </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">...or I'll just watch <b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422528/" target="_blank">Jesus Is Magic</a></b> for the 600th time and masturbate <b><i>to</i></b> Sarah Silverman. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Too much information?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">-Shut up; here's "<b><a href="http://www.xvideos.com/video10000345/fantastic_four_hentai_-_she-hulk_casting" target="_blank">she hulk prn</a></b>":<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_RJOa5uCyc/V0IGGUoww6I/AAAAAAAACiQ/grtCnLLDki8MH00PVBUCqi4GoYcowIFxQCLcB/s1600/ChynaHulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_RJOa5uCyc/V0IGGUoww6I/AAAAAAAACiQ/grtCnLLDki8MH00PVBUCqi4GoYcowIFxQCLcB/s400/ChynaHulk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>~R.I.P. Chyna~</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Moving on...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Guess what? </i> The search term<b> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/taint-misbehavin.html" target="_blank">"beachum taint"</a> </b>has been used more than ANY OTHER search keyword to bring people to my little website! I...<span style="font-size: x-small;"> *sniffle*</span> I am SO proud right now.<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> *weeps* </i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/itsallaboutthattaint.html" target="_blank"><img alt="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/itsallaboutthattaint.html" border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yf8bTsNVigs/VX2jK-VqS9I/AAAAAAAACHQ/4zGLdPtMWJgQWcSmac-SXpKTRDCMqHj8QCKgB/s320/Samuree2%2B%25285%2529.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And <i>finally</i> my Mental Organisms... we reach our climax. I'll end it, for now, with "spiderman fucking mj and black cat": </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-XWzWOLeS4/V0IKRjrtQ1I/AAAAAAAACig/QkklYJouXHUIHD8Klc-BjYVEmdNXsBUewCLcB/s1600/SpiderBlackMj3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-XWzWOLeS4/V0IKRjrtQ1I/AAAAAAAACig/QkklYJouXHUIHD8Klc-BjYVEmdNXsBUewCLcB/s640/SpiderBlackMj3.jpg" width="460" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Why are these things that <a href="http://rule34.paheal.net/" target="_blank">exist?</a> I can't answer that question for you. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> -To each their own, I suppose. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I shall defend your right to jack-it to whatever you wish... </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FrPEMrPDwEo/V0IKPvX6A1I/AAAAAAAACic/BHPEoiQu6MQvVNtv6z6JwhHEPP4zYuEowCKgB/s1600/Good%2Btimes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FrPEMrPDwEo/V0IKPvX6A1I/AAAAAAAACic/BHPEoiQu6MQvVNtv6z6JwhHEPP4zYuEowCKgB/s400/Good%2Btimes.jpg" width="382" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Sure, I prefer real people. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> But that's just me... </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Who am I to judge? </i>I've seen a girl blow a horse.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">...I've seen a girl blow a horse.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">Until next time!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-44307014282057938482016-05-14T22:16:00.001-04:002016-05-15T00:57:38.594-04:00The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of ROM The Space Knight #0:<b><span style="font-size: large;">R</span>OM</b>'s <i>"mitten-hands"</i> were a defining aesthetic characteristic.<br />
Taking those away is like giving Spider-Man organic web-shooters, or giving Iron Man a nose, or Optimus Prime some sweet (re: lame) flame decals, Wolverine some retcon'd bone claws, Captain America a non-round shield<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(I know- his original shield <i>was not</i> round; but round is his iconic one. <span class="st">All those who chose to oppose his shield must <i>yield</i>!</span>)</span>...<br />
I can go on: It's like taking away Superman's trunks, or Wonder Woman's origin story, or casting Keanu Reeves as John Constantine- it's just a <b>bad</b> decision. And in my opinion- no real fan of the character would ever even dream of doing something like that.<br />
And no, this is <b>not</b> me being <span class="st">nitpicky</span> either- they can make ROM as sleek, and skinny, and non-boxy, and Evangelion-looking as they want- <i>whatever-</i> it's a <i><b>reboot</b></i>: I understand that. But when I saw the first picture of the redesign on the cover to issue #0 and it had fingers?: That was a <i>HUGE</i> <span style="color: #cc0000;">red-flag</span> for me.<br />
<i>"They're not going to <b>get</b> this character."</i> -I thought. And after reading issue zero it looks like I was right to worry. -Because they do not.<br />
And they should be embarrassed to call themselves fans. -Not because they gave him fingers... you're missing the bigger picture if you think that's all that's wrong here. But the fingers are a symptom of a much larger illness.<br />
You know when you're not sick yet- but you can feel a cold coming on? That's what the fingers were for me. -I was hoping I wasn't going to be sick; but I just <i>knew</i> it was coming- and none of the IDW medicine they were Tweeting-out could stave it off.<br />
<br />
So, let's go over The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of IDW's Free Comic Book Day offering:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>ROM The Space Knight #0 </b></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a>Firstly: I'm <i>not</i> a negative person. And I fucking<i> love</i> comics- I've been reading them on a weekly basis since I was old enough to read- and I'm 36 now! So we'll kick things off with...<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Good:</b></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iVDQHqfeVVE/Vze-CNh_xpI/AAAAAAAACeM/QhfvJgZEUD0hwPYnCE8S0U07jI95gTEbwCLcB/s1600/NuROM1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iVDQHqfeVVE/Vze-CNh_xpI/AAAAAAAACeM/QhfvJgZEUD0hwPYnCE8S0U07jI95gTEbwCLcB/s640/NuROM1.jpg" width="414" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1.)</b></span> It is the year 2016 and I am holding a <i>brand-spanking<b> new</b></i> ROM: Spaceknight comic in my hands!<br />
Let's not balk at that- just because it might not be what we wanted <i>exactly</i>. It's still a <i>NEW</i> <b>ROM COMIC!</b> <i><b> </b></i><br />
<i><b>Holy shit!!!</b></i><br />
I never thought I'd see the day- just the fact that it <i>exists</i> is fucking amazing! I figured Marvel would hold on to, and do nothing with, the character for the rest of my natural life. So this comic's very existence is a positive in my book!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2.) </b></span>The weapons. I<i> love</i> the weapon redesigns! Of course non-boxy Neon Genesis-ROM can't have a giant box for a weapon. That would just look silly. <i> </i><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Boom!:</i></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tZUADeObaT0/Vze_Z5wr5MI/AAAAAAAACeY/ndKY3_BpmG8tot_kR4ST2agOXLDGPsVnQCLcB/s1600/NuROM12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tZUADeObaT0/Vze_Z5wr5MI/AAAAAAAACeY/ndKY3_BpmG8tot_kR4ST2agOXLDGPsVnQCLcB/s320/NuROM12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>-The <span class="st">Neutralizer.</span></b></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>BOOM!:</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U4GLxdCs8kY/VzfACvqbjcI/AAAAAAAACeg/R89aPozQSfM00YI7k40jSyF17W_9ATCjwCLcB/s1600/NuROM4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U4GLxdCs8kY/VzfACvqbjcI/AAAAAAAACeg/R89aPozQSfM00YI7k40jSyF17W_9ATCjwCLcB/s640/NuROM4.jpg" width="456" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>-The Energy Analyzer!</b></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
I like it the most: That. Looks. AWESOME! Two big red eyes/censors on the back of his hands! -The pose he makes... it's fantastic looking! That was a <i>really</i> cool moment for me (that was quickly ruined- <i>see way further down below</i>).</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2.5)</b></span> I <i>also</i> liked when the facade of the Dire Wraith's was fading- and you could see their rifles were really these weird bio-mechanical guns... It's a nice little touch I wish there was more of:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7RCQlmUQuRU/VzfBGf9c2wI/AAAAAAAACes/Ii8AWE69yOI5Nc6LSJLuG7jNyBYo7A1SACLcB/s1600/NuROM5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7RCQlmUQuRU/VzfBGf9c2wI/AAAAAAAACes/Ii8AWE69yOI5Nc6LSJLuG7jNyBYo7A1SACLcB/s400/NuROM5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.)</b></span> I'm going to put this panel in the positives, even though I did not like the overall design of the "Wraith Hawk"- I liked the gross, moving, pulsating, organic feel to it in this single panel. Reminded me of the Lexx ship from the science-fiction show of the same name...<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Again, more of this- less of just about everything else:</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n9CPDYaoW9k/VzfBsWF-fvI/AAAAAAAACe0/0xWZbFpQMmoRBWSv-ffRQo3WjbP-gCDnACLcB/s1600/NuROM9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n9CPDYaoW9k/VzfBsWF-fvI/AAAAAAAACe0/0xWZbFpQMmoRBWSv-ffRQo3WjbP-gCDnACLcB/s640/NuROM9.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4.)</b></span> I'm <i>really</i> reaching for nice things to say... in an attempt to be as fair as possible. The over-all redesign (although I'm not a big fan) CAN look pretty damn<i> awesome</i> with a better artist at the helm, as this ad for issue #1 in the back of the book proves: <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R45gM3S25gY/VzfDIs2OGPI/AAAAAAAACfA/K5X7uaQyRS4ohQD3MeOsqbI-13zunlxVgCLcB/s1600/NuROM18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R45gM3S25gY/VzfDIs2OGPI/AAAAAAAACfA/K5X7uaQyRS4ohQD3MeOsqbI-13zunlxVgCLcB/s640/NuROM18.jpg" width="472" /></a></div>
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-That looks fucking amazing! Why couldn't he look like this on the inside of the book?!?<br />
In fact; just about EVERY variant cover I have seen has a better looking ROM on it then we get here, or are <i>going</i> to get in issue #1, (still) by David Messina.<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Bad:</b></span><br />
<br />
Now, one thing I am NOT going to do is pull up images from the original Marvel run and compare them to this- because that would<i> not</i> be fair to this AT ALL. It will stand or fall on it's own merits. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1.) </b></span>That being said: anyone else notice the writing on this is...... not so great? <br />
<br />
ROM's dialogue is horribly groan-worthy and jarring...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CXhkj_OlPms/VzfEpHYtYjI/AAAAAAAACfM/fiG_M5E9gZI6Qh1bL0gjni0MUb5t5qWegCLcB/s1600/NuROM11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CXhkj_OlPms/VzfEpHYtYjI/AAAAAAAACfM/fiG_M5E9gZI6Qh1bL0gjni0MUb5t5qWegCLcB/s400/NuROM11.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CwdZM220fK4/VzfEpzy-auI/AAAAAAAACfQ/JRTHw2DgO4g01wTVpFpNjwhom3P74uy4wCLcB/s1600/NuROM14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CwdZM220fK4/VzfEpzy-auI/AAAAAAAACfQ/JRTHw2DgO4g01wTVpFpNjwhom3P74uy4wCLcB/s640/NuROM14.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
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<br />
The writing's not consistent with it's own continuity either- look at the text block preamble here:<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tVXV3RyJJus/VzfFVe89lPI/AAAAAAAACfY/Et9CnLreHDgOYaxGe6kkwrEiWKnNrs2KACLcB/s1600/NuROM2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tVXV3RyJJus/VzfFVe89lPI/AAAAAAAACfY/Et9CnLreHDgOYaxGe6kkwrEiWKnNrs2KACLcB/s640/NuROM2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
-Okay, that's perfect! Right?<br />
So why is it that the Dire Wraiths are not only<b> not</b> scared of ROM <b>at all</b> when they see him; but act like<i> his </i>order is the one that has already been defeated, and not theirs?<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Leh2Iyum2ho/VzfGgylYZ_I/AAAAAAAACfo/4kGZZbz9ko8yjOddTnvTwdP2ESOxe_AawCLcB/s1600/NuROM7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Leh2Iyum2ho/VzfGgylYZ_I/AAAAAAAACfo/4kGZZbz9ko8yjOddTnvTwdP2ESOxe_AawCLcB/s640/NuROM7.jpg" width="540" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-twaZ94CKFms/VzfGfx2JNZI/AAAAAAAACfk/xf_lwRG1q9MLhCxQ1A5sNHQHMl6x9M2JwCLcB/s1600/NuROM13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-twaZ94CKFms/VzfGfx2JNZI/AAAAAAAACfk/xf_lwRG1q9MLhCxQ1A5sNHQHMl6x9M2JwCLcB/s640/NuROM13.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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-They show <i>no</i> fear, no hesitation- they attack him <i>head on!</i> Like he's not a big deal at all- and certainly not the one who "alone could wipe them off the face of creation."<br />
There's not one line of 'Oh, no! It's HIM!' or 'What are we going to do?' or a scene of one Wraith who maybe panics and tries to run away... Nothing. They basically just say 'fuck you, ROM!' and rush him like he's the last guy they need to take out to win the war!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gskd-M0i1Vc/VzfHdAQ9qCI/AAAAAAAACf0/KfAEfvBwf68XYeEtAWOwjxLGsu2D7ofJACLcB/s1600/NuROM3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gskd-M0i1Vc/VzfHdAQ9qCI/AAAAAAAACf0/KfAEfvBwf68XYeEtAWOwjxLGsu2D7ofJACLcB/s640/NuROM3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
-Where was ANY of that in the book itself? I know it was only 13 pages- but come on.<br />
That's some inconsistent storytelling. <br />
That's like if the preamble block of text in a current Spider-Man comic talked about him being married to Mary Jane. Is it so hard to pay attention to what's happening in your own story???<br />
It just makes it more obvious there are two separate writers <span style="font-size: small;">(Christos Gage</span> and <span style="font-size: small;">Chris Ryall</span>) and one came up with the over-all story bible, and the other is writing the individual issues- but they are not communicating well, or at all. <br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2.)</b></span> Shouldn't the Analyzer expose the Dire Wraiths in their true forms? -Especially in ROM's own damn point-of-view shot??? <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1cBJNgNJjiI/VzfJS0D4zZI/AAAAAAAACgA/KS8IQ8KyKWkwDLb7n-SCEvQ_Akto-pCawCLcB/s1600/NuROM6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1cBJNgNJjiI/VzfJS0D4zZI/AAAAAAAACgA/KS8IQ8KyKWkwDLb7n-SCEvQ_Akto-pCawCLcB/s640/NuROM6.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"It<i> is</i> him." is just a factual statement- there is no fear or worry behind it: so point #1 still stands.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> Ohhhh...</i> this different color circle means they are Dire Wraiths... that's... that's...... lazy art. </div>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.)</b></span> So... How big, exactly, is the re-ROM? In the first shot of him- he seems towering! As he should be! ROM always seemed to be a good seven or eight feet tall in the original books. And he was built like a tank. A fucking war-machine. <br />
But there is only one, <b>ONE</b>, panel in this entire book that shows ROM in proportional frame with an average human... and he's in a weird hunched over position:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Abd5ql6SQAc/VzfKe-frNHI/AAAAAAAACgM/jUDrIWpURRQOsFA5fjSp97DhIIO7XKjLgCLcB/s1600/NuROM10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Abd5ql6SQAc/VzfKe-frNHI/AAAAAAAACgM/jUDrIWpURRQOsFA5fjSp97DhIIO7XKjLgCLcB/s400/NuROM10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i>Why? </i>Again, a bad (or lazy) decision by the artist- here was your ONE CHANCE to show his relative height. "-Behind me human!" -as the massive alien knight stands in front of the indigenous life-from to shield him from harm! What an impressive shot that could have been!<br />
But no... he looks feeble instead. <br />
The only other shot where people (Wraiths in disguise) are in frame with ROM makes him look like he's just <i>slightly</i> taller than an average male. -From a story-telling perspective: If ROM was shown to have a good two and a half foot height differential on the cops/soldiers/Wraiths in disguise-<i> then</i> when you saw the first Wraith(Wolf) attack ROM and <i>it</i> was <i>hulking</i> over <i>him</i>; it sure would have been a lot more impressive. <br />
It's like Mr. Plinkett says "<span class="st"><i>You</i> may not have <i>noticed it… but your brain did</i>.</span>"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Ugly:</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1.)</b></span> What's with the altered striations on the back of ROM's head? I know I used this panel in <b>The Good</b> segment- but this part of ROM's re-design is just ugly...<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U4GLxdCs8kY/VzfACvqbjcI/AAAAAAAACek/KWU6zq4chLYW6EeBfixBf9T5f39Ca5aWQCKgB/s1600/NuROM4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U4GLxdCs8kY/VzfACvqbjcI/AAAAAAAACek/KWU6zq4chLYW6EeBfixBf9T5f39Ca5aWQCKgB/s320/NuROM4.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
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That panel takes place after ROM in knocked back by Earth's "crude weapons." So my initial reaction to it was: "Holy shit, he got all dented up when he fell back on his head" but no, no... that's not battle-damage; just bad art on a weird design choice. Usually you can't see it- but look:<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KjDf74gwW7o/VzfMqZDQYgI/AAAAAAAACgY/gBY-d3xh0AIBLtx4QS1QBdWsh8iR5IKcACKgB/s1600/NuROM15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KjDf74gwW7o/VzfMqZDQYgI/AAAAAAAACgY/gBY-d3xh0AIBLtx4QS1QBdWsh8iR5IKcACKgB/s320/NuROM15.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
-The art here makes it look like a brain.</div>
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And<i> this?</i>:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KFsTVLxWsCw/VzfMqvCbtQI/AAAAAAAACgc/34EnP-u1gjQvUkYYYl7NEJ0cXHxM3kA0gCKgB/s1600/NuROM16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KFsTVLxWsCw/VzfMqvCbtQI/AAAAAAAACgc/34EnP-u1gjQvUkYYYl7NEJ0cXHxM3kA0gCKgB/s640/NuROM16.jpg" width="545" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
That just looks <b>awful.</b> The entire panel is terrible- but his head looks <i>especially</i> bad.</div>
<br />
I think they are going for the face-plate being able to be lifted up- like on an actual knight's helmet? Like it would hinge at the ear... But that makes no sense.<br />
<br />
I miss the toaster-head. I know it technically had them too- but not like this.<br />
<br />
...not like this.<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2.)</b></span> The Wraith Hawk is our first look at a brand new Dire Wraith design... and it is terrible:<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ASviziudEVE/VzfOIo2ikoI/AAAAAAAACgo/dkM21GRmhX4Ejwbxp1sLdxTy8qUEiwUwQCLcB/s1600/NuROM8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ASviziudEVE/VzfOIo2ikoI/AAAAAAAACgo/dkM21GRmhX4Ejwbxp1sLdxTy8qUEiwUwQCLcB/s640/NuROM8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
It looks like what you'd get if you told a little kid to draw a monster with his crayons- and then you took what he drew and applied whatever artistic skill you had to make it look slightly better... </div>
<br />
I know there <i>will</i> be other designs for different Wraiths- but they lead with<i> this </i>one?<br />
-That does not inspire confidence. <br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.)</b></span> This art, in general, is just not good art. It's stiff, not fluid or conducive to storytelling- I often could not tell what was going on, or where people were in relation to one-another.<br />
ROM was drawn first by the <i>amazing</i> Sal Buscema, then later on by (how you may feel about his current work notwithstanding) The Legend: Steve Ditko. So you <i>WOULD THINK</i> <b>IDW</b> would try and pull a top-name artist to do the book, or a fantastic new up-and-comer. Someone's art you would look at and go: "WOW! <b><i>This</i></b> is continuing the legacy!" Especially for the first, <i>and free,</i> issue that's being used to promote the ongoing book! They should have went ALL OUT. -This is ROM's return to comics!<b> It's a celebration!</b> <i> Right?</i><br />
<br />
This... this is <b>not</b> "all out." This is generic, middle of the road, standard indy-title fare.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSQ-NeSzMOg/VzfQTTWmSTI/AAAAAAAACg0/p1gBFYgUMRwIVrmk1DtRTYFDE3V3P_3jwCLcB/s1600/SK1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSQ-NeSzMOg/VzfQTTWmSTI/AAAAAAAACg0/p1gBFYgUMRwIVrmk1DtRTYFDE3V3P_3jwCLcB/s200/SK1.jpg" width="200" /></a>Some people are comparing this comic's art to the art in the much maligned Spaceknights mini-series Marvel put out in 2000, but... <br />
...no, just no. Like that series or not- and the art <i>may </i>suffer from the same kind of stiffness; but it's award-winning compared to this. I would MUCH rather have <i>that</i> artist on <i>this</i> book. -I mean, if the DeviantArt-anime-style is the look they were going for <i>anyways</i> for this reboot- Chris Batista did it better:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4Qdc1Oab1zQ/VzfQVKgNpnI/AAAAAAAACg4/-h0it9CA028cGgQHE7Q7QnzvSVNWW5ctACLcB/s1600/SK2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="494" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4Qdc1Oab1zQ/VzfQVKgNpnI/AAAAAAAACg4/-h0it9CA028cGgQHE7Q7QnzvSVNWW5ctACLcB/s640/SK2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
The comic ends with a display of some armor variations- because I guess it can morph to be adaptable to different situations, which is a cool idea... <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E-s8o0S0yGY/VzfRSZSonzI/AAAAAAAAChE/AMtzgOB30Xca_dHHcTom7YoKip7z6XWUQCLcB/s1600/NuROM17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="344" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E-s8o0S0yGY/VzfRSZSonzI/AAAAAAAAChE/AMtzgOB30Xca_dHHcTom7YoKip7z6XWUQCLcB/s640/NuROM17.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
...but honestly; the differences are negligible to the point of "why bother..." <br />
And it's yet another failed opportunity- to have his most armored form resemble his classic design. Seems like that would be a no-brainer.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.)</b></span> The cash-grab. <br />
<br />
<i>*sigh* </i><br />
<br />
12 variant covers (and counting) to books ROM has nothing to do with. -And you couldn't even put out a decent "first" issue? This is pathetic.<br />
And ROM The Space Knight #1 is going to have 12+ variant covers as well. IDW seems more concerned with banking off of legacy and nostalgia then they are at putting out a decent product. And that is both obvious, and sad.<br />
If they would have put half the energy into the writing and art that they did with Tweeting shit about it- this could have been a pretty great book.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>In conclusion:</b></span> The entire thing seems like it was slap-dashed together over a weekend.<br />
I'm getting NO sense of love or care going into this- despite their <b><a href="https://twitter.com/chris_ryall" target="_blank">MANY</a></b> Tweets to the contrary...<br />
I will check out issue one- in spite of issue zero, not because of it- in that regard they failed big.<br />
But I want to see what a full issue will look like. This was just 13 pages. -And it feels last-minute and rushed as fuck. I'll read a full issue- but chances are it will be more of the same... And that's SUCH a shame.<br />
<br />
Shame.<br />
<br />
<br />
SHAME!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
SHAME!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>SHAME!!!</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>SHAME!!!!!!</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>SHAME!!!!!!</b></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>SHAME!!!!!!</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SHAME!!!!!!</span></b>The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-9105015952243860542016-04-21T22:18:00.002-04:002016-04-21T22:20:32.436-04:00 Klarion, the BITCH Boy...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UMJXQmLCV6I/VxmIVM3EF3I/AAAAAAAACds/cP-1gNAsj10p2eeSjAZFQ558vU1gFu8wACLcB/s1600/demon15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UMJXQmLCV6I/VxmIVM3EF3I/AAAAAAAACds/cP-1gNAsj10p2eeSjAZFQ558vU1gFu8wACLcB/s1600/demon15.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Demon #15 by Alan Grant / Val Semeiks</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">~A</span>wwwwww, what a sweet and<i> touching</i> scene!<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>...he goes on to murder several innocent people on the following pages.<br />
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The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-65307625644697147082016-04-11T03:00:00.000-04:002016-04-13T01:08:49.464-04:00Boobs UNBOUND!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n5bPEEJn2JE/VwiDQ3eBTAI/AAAAAAAACdQ/UZaBeQSFj4Umh6HINqc2oI0u8yJ3y3GEA/s1600/Quasar42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n5bPEEJn2JE/VwiDQ3eBTAI/AAAAAAAACdQ/UZaBeQSFj4Umh6HINqc2oI0u8yJ3y3GEA/s1600/Quasar42.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quasar #42 by Mark Gruenwald / Andy Smith</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<b><i>"Hercules shall fondle as <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/oddandsods.html" target="_blank">many</a> maidens as Hercules deems necessary to be fondled, Captain!"</i></b><br />
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<br /></div>
The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-42058914514941545972016-03-28T07:00:00.000-04:002016-04-09T00:02:00.771-04:00She-Hulk, we need to talk about your thing...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhGL16p8qf0/Vs__YaM_FwI/AAAAAAAACa0/6FHgYxKx_Hk/s1600/shehulk1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhGL16p8qf0/Vs__YaM_FwI/AAAAAAAACa0/6FHgYxKx_Hk/s1600/shehulk1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(The Sensational She-Hulk #33 by John Byrne)</td></tr>
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-Classic.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><center>
Honestly, straight-up; John Byrne's <b>She-Hulk</b> did Deadpool (not only before) but<i> better </i>than Deadpool did Deadpool in terms of the comedy, fourth-wall-breaking, and the character's meta-realization of their fictionality...<br />
</center>
<br />
I want a damn She-Hulk movie! -Or a television series... just not a <span class="st"><i>Netflix</i></span> series; because then it would be long, boring, pretentious, and overrated. Plus they'd probably not even make her green.<br />
<br />
<i>Side-note: </i>I recently caught up on the last 100 issues of <a href="http://www.savagedragon.com/" target="_blank">The Savage Dragon</a> I had missed out on over the years (I was out of the game for a long time, it is what it is...) and having JUST read those- then reading <i>this</i> She-Hulk issue? Dude, <span class="st">Erik Larsen</span> <i>HAD</i> to have been inspired by Byrne's style back in the day... because it reads almost identically. <b>It was awesome. </b><br />
(Next up- I need to <i>finally</i> catch up on the past two seasons of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer over at Dark Horse. Plus I think there's a season of Angel I have not read...)<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
ANYWAYS- speaking of SHulkie: She has a pretty cool battle with <b>Ms. Marvel</b> (Sharon Ventura) in issue #36 of <b>The Thing</b> (by Mike Carlin, Paul Neary, and Sam DeLaRosa). </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The battle lasts half of the issue, but here's a page of it:</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qFZmgVoGkc/Vs__WJUJsKI/AAAAAAAACa4/EMLbvOo2XE0/s1600/thing36shehulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qFZmgVoGkc/Vs__WJUJsKI/AAAAAAAACa4/EMLbvOo2XE0/s1600/thing36shehulk.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-This is back when The Thing was not in The Fantastic Four (replaced, obviously, by She-Hulk) and instead was CM Punk's favorite wrestler in the UCWF (Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation): Where people were given augmented powers and terrible names (like Left-Winger, or Mr. Clean), then made into drug addicts, by the Power Broker. Comics are <i>so</i> weird...</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MlCqTDogCAg/Vs__UdT1mUI/AAAAAAAACa4/F1uU9_j6_pg/s1600/thething36.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MlCqTDogCAg/Vs__UdT1mUI/AAAAAAAACa4/F1uU9_j6_pg/s640/thething36.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You, Sir- are <b>NO</b> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/02/poundcakes.html" target="_blank">Poundcakes</a>!!!</td></tr>
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Now, I was previously unfamiliar with <a href="http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Marian_Pouncy_%28Earth-616%29" target="_blank">Poundcakes</a> and Mangler... In fact- I thought Poundcakes was a dude in that panel! Oh, well- gay jokes averted!</div>
<br />
This was the<b> final issue</b> of The Thing... and Ben Grimm is particularly whiny about his appearance- as he becomes altered to be<i> more</i> rocky looking. <br />
So, yeah, a quick little rant about The Thing: His whole <i>"Woe is me, I was once a man- now I am A MONSTER!"</i> deal worked fine back in the 60's and 70's. <b>I get his pathos...</b> But the thing with The Thing (HA!) is in a larger, 80's/90's Marvel Universe... that doesn't really play as well in a world with actual monsters, aliens, mutants, inhumans, and people altered by radiation. They're all looking at him crying <i>"I'm such a freak"</i> like: "Seriously? You're a lovable, world-famous, celebrity with friends who love and care about you. Get the fuck over yourself!" <br />
And I never understood why someone who thinks his appearance is SO grotesque- only wears trunks as a costume... Why not cover up as much as possible? Have a big-ass armored suit or something? No, it would not be practical at all- but this is a guy who can't even stand looking in the mirror or going in public during off-hours. But he's cool being seen fighting evil in his underwear? (I know he trench-coats up when he's on the streets, and he <i>eventually</i> wears a full onesie for awhile, but still...)<br />
He ONLY covers-up his face with that helmet later on<i> after</i> Wolverine scars him. (And that's some Doctor Doom level vain behavior, really.)<br />
I know, I know- the first excuse he gave for the helmet was that bad
guys were targeting his injured face- but later on he kept saying the
helmet was better than looking at his <i>"ugly mug." </i><br />
<br />
<i>"No one can see me <b>now</b>, I'm hideous!"</i><br />
"-But you've always said you were hideous looking..."<br />
<i>"Errr, yeah, but now I'm... <b>more</b> hideous?"</i><br />
"Hideous is just hideous, you can't be more or less hideous."<br />
<i>"Uhhhh... It's clobberin' time?" </i><br />
<br />
In this issue, like I said; he gets his more "spiked" rocky appearance that he sported for a few years after- and his reaction to this is to demand no one <i>ever</i> see him again, run away from everyone who cares about him, and hope he'll just die under a porch somewhere. It's <i>a little</i> much. <br />
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-89005227745205539222016-03-21T08:00:00.000-04:002016-04-08T23:37:03.561-04:00~The Marvel Universe desperately needs a tune-up...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LLTfk1hAaQs/VuUbKi5LDgI/AAAAAAAACcs/J0rebabO9rUEgoVdqXJfIGgeyNvzOf6qA/s1600/CaptUniverse1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LLTfk1hAaQs/VuUbKi5LDgI/AAAAAAAACcs/J0rebabO9rUEgoVdqXJfIGgeyNvzOf6qA/s1600/CaptUniverse1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Eh? How odd. I suddenly find myself suspended in some kind of particle."</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Best. Title. EVER.</b></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NfMuzYewNpM/VuUbLG0GO3I/AAAAAAAACcs/5dC_ZNrjyTA3qVuQjLZrwU2zu9lizu7zQ/s1600/CaptUniverse22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NfMuzYewNpM/VuUbLG0GO3I/AAAAAAAACcs/5dC_ZNrjyTA3qVuQjLZrwU2zu9lizu7zQ/s1600/CaptUniverse22.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="st"><i>Check out <b>Baron Karza</b> up there in that <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-love-captain-universe-concept.html" target="_blank">flashback</a> mural... a little </i></span><span class="st"><i>Micronauts love.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MGKEy_oHbvI/VuUbHwTnCwI/AAAAAAAACcs/4Go_hRSOE2E29k7U9YcdcdvOLXDXnjNmg/s1600/CaptUniverse3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MGKEy_oHbvI/VuUbHwTnCwI/AAAAAAAACcs/4Go_hRSOE2E29k7U9YcdcdvOLXDXnjNmg/s1600/CaptUniverse3.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Quantum Mechanic! -Such a cool fucking premise for a character...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BxpX8ym_yik/VuUbjSAhr2I/AAAAAAAACcw/yWJt-nxXjMA_g8rYT-TZ4x8lkygISiiAA/s1600/CaptUniverse4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BxpX8ym_yik/VuUbjSAhr2I/AAAAAAAACcw/yWJt-nxXjMA_g8rYT-TZ4x8lkygISiiAA/s1600/CaptUniverse4.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Marvel Universe <i>DEFINITELY </i>does not take care of their Probability Maintenance. I blame that lousy Richards!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gko8UFPow3E/VuUbQOOUpFI/AAAAAAAACcw/-cx2QnWJAdgwre_7tjgSMmeuqtS77yWpA/s1600/CaptUniverse5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gko8UFPow3E/VuUbQOOUpFI/AAAAAAAACcw/-cx2QnWJAdgwre_7tjgSMmeuqtS77yWpA/s1600/CaptUniverse5.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(This was a back-up-story from 1989's The Web of Spider-Man Annual #5)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9jn4xjuNlII/VuUbRiPJXUI/AAAAAAAACcw/vHCzq9Y4KjcDLu07mWPNhZU9KArMFvVuw/s1600/CaptUniverse6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9jn4xjuNlII/VuUbRiPJXUI/AAAAAAAACcw/vHCzq9Y4KjcDLu07mWPNhZU9KArMFvVuw/s1600/CaptUniverse6.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't worry; some bullshit will negate this... you'll see-</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PShohvZ6VDg/VuUbmETQxwI/AAAAAAAACcw/QMbDWaUCZ-wBtk78-VrHawIsuSpb6HdSg/s1600/CaptUniverse7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PShohvZ6VDg/VuUbmETQxwI/AAAAAAAACcw/QMbDWaUCZ-wBtk78-VrHawIsuSpb6HdSg/s1600/CaptUniverse7.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...Spoiler: It's <i>The Spectacular Spider-Man.</i></td></tr>
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-75701199457881586132016-03-17T03:42:00.000-04:002016-03-17T03:42:07.452-04:00WARNING!: Do NOT attempt to headbutt-the-fuck out of Speedball.-That's just a bad move...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H8pk0od_4XI/VuUYGGlCCAI/AAAAAAAACcA/N1SNz69v164R0_uc4GUqttuWeXY83zOUA/s1600/Speedball1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H8pk0od_4XI/VuUYGGlCCAI/AAAAAAAACcA/N1SNz69v164R0_uc4GUqttuWeXY83zOUA/s1600/Speedball1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It gets bigger every time I jerk, too...</td></tr>
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From 1989's <b><a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/speedball-tobounceornottobounce.html" target="_blank">Speedball</a>: The Masked Marvel #8</b> <i>by <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/01/SteveDitkoSpaceknight.html" target="_blank">Steve Ditko</a><br /> </i><br />
The attacker/villain of this issue is called <b>Bonehead</b>. Think of him as a dime-store, Ben Franklin version of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammerhead_%28comics%29" target="_blank"><b>Hammerhead</b></a>... His whole deal is just that he, <i>literally, </i>has a thick skull. They can't ALL be winners!!! <br /><br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-15013197827409775712016-03-13T01:51:00.000-05:002016-03-13T03:01:35.100-04:00~The Punisher meets Moon Knight!<br />
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<br />
...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
......but <i>first-</i> <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Punisher gets a job!?:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_MUjCtOMlRk/VuT-IuEiHpI/AAAAAAAACbc/FWKtF6pEZsY43Kby2NhwZFCSsVeXJFRlQ/s1600/Punisherannual61.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"-I'll kill <i>ALL</i> of your friends!!!"</td></tr>
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The set-up to these pages (from The Punisher Annual #6, <span style="font-size: x-small;">1993,<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">by <i>Pat Mills, Tony Skinner, and Dave Hoover</i>)</span></span> is this: A man that Frank Castle served with in 'Nam is murdered, and it turns out his brother was murdered just the week before... <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/12/thatsmyjam.html" target="_blank">Punisher</a> figures his daughter is surely next on the hit-list, so he gets himself hired as her new bodyguard (after beating up the former bodyguards and throwing them off a yacht, of course). Turns out she's one of them... whatchamacallit; <i>entitled fuck princesses</i>? -Hilarity ensues:</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jZpQYd9krp4/VuT-HHoZA0I/AAAAAAAACbw/wgMb-d70w88w_cEPKstyxfS9hpoW2L52g/s1600/Punisherannual62.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jZpQYd9krp4/VuT-HHoZA0I/AAAAAAAACbw/wgMb-d70w88w_cEPKstyxfS9hpoW2L52g/s1600/Punisherannual62.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td class="tr-caption">"<i>UGH! </i>Fire Exits get me<i> SO </i><b>hot</b>!!!"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PnIN022NImI/VuT-ILB-Y2I/AAAAAAAACbw/7JrP3mcGNrEc82dx6m_CKbry7Elr0wQpg/s1600/Punisherannual63.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PnIN022NImI/VuT-ILB-Y2I/AAAAAAAACbw/7JrP3mcGNrEc82dx6m_CKbry7Elr0wQpg/s1600/Punisherannual63.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">-I just kept thinking:<i> It would have been SO fuckin' funny if he'd have actually done all that coke!</i></td></tr>
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...but then a stupid-looking robot with a VERY thin waist, wearing a weird brown-leather-onesie with a high-collar, comes in and attacks them... because <i>of course</i> it does.</div>
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It really is a good story, though-<span style="font-size: small;"> each of t</span>he annuals that were out this year debuted a <b>brand new</b> character. -And they were <i>VERY</i> hit-or-miss. <b>Eradikator 4</b> was just a miss for me... </div>
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Anyways, wrapping up this little side-story:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5i0aAup2K9A/VuT-LMwADAI/AAAAAAAACb4/o7VFJw6uOpEYSTpAsd2atIsVGjUJ2eHyw/s1600/Punisherannual64.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5i0aAup2K9A/VuT-LMwADAI/AAAAAAAACb4/o7VFJw6uOpEYSTpAsd2atIsVGjUJ2eHyw/s1600/Punisherannual64.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously; <i>what</i> a <i>different </i>story this <i>would have</i> been if Punisher did all that coke, then bent her over the hood of the car...</td></tr>
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I just wanted to show these pages because Frank's a <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/02/anothercrime.html" target="_blank">class-act</a>. Despite his vigilante methods- there is <i>no doubt </i>to me that <b>The Punisher</b> <b>is</b>, at heart, <b>a</b> straight-up <b>superhero</b>.<br />
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I mean; <i>come on. </i><br />
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Someone like Foolkiller would have just shot her in the face. <i>-Yaamean?</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>... </b></span></div>
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And now...</div>
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...you've been waiting for it-</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">-AT LONG LAST!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Punisher</b> <b><span style="font-size: large;">meets</span> Moon Knight</b>!!!:</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Punisher Annual #2, 1989, <i>by Mike Baron & Bill Reinhold</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Oh, shit!</b> </span> <i>Here we go...</i> this is gonna be so...<br />
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so...<br />
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<i>ohhhhhh </i>no... </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't know what everyone else's problem with The Punisher is- Frank seems very personable to me...</td></tr>
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<i>...huh</i>...... The Punisher meets Moon Knight did not go <i>at all </i>like I had expected it would...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Somebody call David Hasselhoff!!!</td></tr>
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-75534936240058128782016-02-29T06:00:00.001-05:002016-03-21T21:58:50.711-04:00~No Anchovies.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OiwmTYtPFTA/VrgVgHs0XxI/AAAAAAAACX8/UMYbfNhAScA/s1600/Darkhawk1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OiwmTYtPFTA/VrgVgHs0XxI/AAAAAAAACX8/UMYbfNhAScA/s400/Darkhawk1.jpg" width="250" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darkhawk #15 </td></tr>
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<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/typicalleftistrelativism.html" target="_blank">Deathlok</a>, Sleepwalker, <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/01/tagteam.html" target="_blank">Ghost Rider</a>, Foolkiller, <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/06/awesomewarriors.html" target="_blank">New Warriors</a>... If they were ever on a Marvel "Rookie" Card- chances are; I love the fuck out of their comics.<br />
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<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/12/sexydarkhawk.html" target="_blank"><b>Darkhawk</b></a> by Danny Fingeroth and Mike Manley is no exception.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tCpUgv7r1rQ/VrgVcMFfobI/AAAAAAAACX0/ED9BjDe0bPU/s1600/Darkhawk2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tCpUgv7r1rQ/VrgVcMFfobI/AAAAAAAACX0/ED9BjDe0bPU/s1600/Darkhawk2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darkhawk #7</td></tr>
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I like how Darkhawk/Christopher Powell had to figure out <i>what kind</i> of hero he wanted to be. His origin was not just: <i>Learn my powers effortlessly and then save the day.</i> It's more: <i>'I want to do good, but in doing so- what am I capable of dealing with? </i><i><i>And what ways will work better for me?</i>'</i></div>
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<a name='more'></a><i> </i>Because "doing good" is not such a cut-and-dry thing... Being a "hero" would not be easy- <i>especially</i> in a world where <i>other </i>heroes could come after you for not thinking or doing things the same way they do. <br />
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Case in point... my favorite superhero... The Sanctimonious Spider-Man!<br />
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During a battle with the <b>Hobgoblin</b> (I guess, <i>technically</i> the Demogoblin- because this was when Jason Macendale was possessed) Chris realizes what any sane and rational person would: </div>
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'This guy... he <i>does not</i> deserve to live... like, at all.' </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gw_Uz5NdXrE/VrgVkPhoO9I/AAAAAAAACYA/WuKA5ki66wc/s1600/Darkhawk4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gw_Uz5NdXrE/VrgVkPhoO9I/AAAAAAAACYA/WuKA5ki66wc/s640/Darkhawk4.jpg" width="432" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why is Hobgoblin Mel Brooks all of a sudden? </td></tr>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEXmllxSH5Y/VrgVlhwKJNI/AAAAAAAACYE/duDBdxNo2oI/s1600/Darkhawk5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="638" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEXmllxSH5Y/VrgVlhwKJNI/AAAAAAAACYE/duDBdxNo2oI/s640/Darkhawk5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cioKIyh7Jcc/VrgVo7U0Z-I/AAAAAAAACYI/LkYnUwDTv3c/s1600/Darkhawk6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cioKIyh7Jcc/VrgVo7U0Z-I/AAAAAAAACYI/LkYnUwDTv3c/s640/Darkhawk6.jpg" width="410" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(((embiggen any page for reading)))</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wX39yopIKgs/VrgVpa-MKSI/AAAAAAAACYM/IkxggTJn2Gs/s1600/Darkhawk7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="324" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wX39yopIKgs/VrgVpa-MKSI/AAAAAAAACYM/IkxggTJn2Gs/s640/Darkhawk7.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Actual Spider-Man quote from this issue: <i>"I'm too far away to <b>save</b> Hobgoblin!"</i> <span class="st">dafuq, Spidey?<i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tcHJlINiPww/VrgVpmR52aI/AAAAAAAACYQ/Yrxaf4iPOzg/s1600/Darkhawk8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="365" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tcHJlINiPww/VrgVpmR52aI/AAAAAAAACYQ/Yrxaf4iPOzg/s400/Darkhawk8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i>Of course</i> Spider-Man's interference allows Hobby to get away... as he vows: "You <i>should </i>have killed me- I know I <i>won't rest </i>until I've killed you!" <br />
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And then:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QHOV5kwUu_A/VrgVrrZKFEI/AAAAAAAACYU/VLcVfZP2S9U/s1600/Darkhawk9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QHOV5kwUu_A/VrgVrrZKFEI/AAAAAAAACYU/VLcVfZP2S9U/s1600/Darkhawk9.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darkhawk #3</td></tr>
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Spider-Man/Peter Parker is very flawed... he complains about his lot in life constantly, he can be very hypocritical, he has anger issues, he's socially awkward... Often, over decades, I have thought to myself- while reading Spider-Man: <i>"He's kind of being a jerk."</i><br />
Whenever he interacts with another superhero who has been around longer than him; he tends to hero-worship a bit (Human Torch<b> not </b>included, of course).<br />
When it's someone who has been around about the same amount of time; he'll treat them as equals to a point, but he does always think that <i>his way</i> is the<i> best</i> way...<br />
BUT when he interacts with younger, newer heroes... <i>oh, boy...</i> he can really be a sanctimoniously preachy asshole with zero tolerance or patience! <br />
<br />
I always come back to <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/CARNAGERULES.html" target="_blank">Carnage</a>. Carnage exists because of Venom... Venom exists because of Spider-Man... Ergo Carnage exists because of Spider-Man. So how does ol' Pete sleep at night knowing he never did <i>everything</i> he could to put <span class="st">Cletus Kasady down <b>permanently.</b> </span><br />
<span class="st">What do you reckon Carnage's body-count has been since Maximum Carnage? Because 100% of those deaths are on Spider-Man's head. ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT. Your precious moral code is worth <b>all</b> those lives? -And all the loss others have had to experience? -Get the fuck over yourself!</span><br />
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<span class="st">Okay, okay- rant over... he really is my favorite though!</span> <br />
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Moving on...<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZvGOMW0QOsA/VrgVflCTFgI/AAAAAAAACX4/50167XTLxXA/s1600/Darkhawk3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZvGOMW0QOsA/VrgVflCTFgI/AAAAAAAACX4/50167XTLxXA/s640/Darkhawk3.jpg" width="422" /></a></div>
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1.) I like how he's<i> so</i> novice that he's just hitching a ride on a random family's boat.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gLmYYh68mEg/Vrgj1ZtCdNI/AAAAAAAACYs/gVhvo7vzpfM/s1600/boatgif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gLmYYh68mEg/Vrgj1ZtCdNI/AAAAAAAACYs/gVhvo7vzpfM/s1600/boatgif.gif" /></a></div>
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2.) There is NO WAY I buy that kid would have <i>ANY</i> idea who Darkhawk is- in issue fucking FOUR!<br />
3.) Again, such a real reaction. "These random people are terrified of me... I'm <i>so </i>awesome now!"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vm3VYbjeCDM/VtZrQm35TfI/AAAAAAAACbE/vNUe_LYPIL8/s1600/Darkhawksface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vm3VYbjeCDM/VtZrQm35TfI/AAAAAAAACbE/vNUe_LYPIL8/s640/Darkhawksface.jpg" width="418" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bad guy is called Savage Steel, just in case you were wondering...</td></tr>
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I remember reading this series back when it was new each month- and they handled the mystery of the amulet, and more importantly- his face, <i>so</i> well! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L-t4UIWf2og/VrgVw8oDJaI/AAAAAAAACYc/H5x3EIeC5hs/s1600/Darkhawksface2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L-t4UIWf2og/VrgVw8oDJaI/AAAAAAAACYc/H5x3EIeC5hs/s640/Darkhawksface2.jpg" width="424" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darkhawk #4</td></tr>
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I won't spoil anything here... because it's an awesome reveal if you have never read it.<br />
And if you don't want to read it but still<i> have </i>to know- you can easily look it all up online...<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bMmy8kgT8LQ/VvCmskmFvgI/AAAAAAAACc8/N7oPXMHFMZke2Falne6XFN-KpURNA8zlg/s1600/darkhawk_under_the_mask.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bMmy8kgT8LQ/VvCmskmFvgI/AAAAAAAACc8/N7oPXMHFMZke2Falne6XFN-KpURNA8zlg/s1600/darkhawk_under_the_mask.jpg" /></a></div>
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Great concept, genuine characters, awesome art that fits the tone of the book really well- I definitely recommend tracking these down if you don't have them already. It ran for 50 issues, and I think Marvel has even done a lot of cool things with the character since... Loners, War of Kings, Avengers Arena- all great stuff!<br />
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-12338453663738651352016-02-22T06:00:00.000-05:002016-02-23T22:25:48.280-05:00The RETURN of Solarman!!!<span style="font-size: x-large;">~I</span>t's been awhile since...<br />
<i>this......</i><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RHoFDOSE4aY/VsJR_JGrZUI/AAAAAAAACaM/Te9jUla5bDM/s1600/Solar211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="579" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RHoFDOSE4aY/VsJR_JGrZUI/AAAAAAAACaM/Te9jUla5bDM/s640/Solar211.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Doctor Doom may not sue you- <a href="http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2016/01/x-men-danger-room-protocols-shut-down-after-one-episode/" target="_blank">but Disney will!</a></td></tr>
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Stan Lee likes to say Doctor Doom is <i>'not really a villain; because it's not illegal to want to take over The World...... If he walked up to a Police Officer and said that he wanted to rule The World- he couldn't be arrested for it.' </i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I'm paraphrasing, here...)</span><i><br />
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-Where that falls apart, though, is while the desire may not be a crime; most of the things you'd need to do <i>in order</i> to take over The World would be... so... yeah.<br />
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<a href="http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/marvels-solarman-gets-reboot-from-scout-comics" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/marvels-solarman-gets-reboot-from-scout-comics" border="0" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MluZFANCiQM/VskfhTN18aI/AAAAAAAACac/fJ4-8Xd9Ug8/s200/solarman-1-cover.jpg" width="133" /></a><i> </i><br />
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<i>Anyways-</i> with a brand new <a href="http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/marvels-solarman-gets-reboot-from-scout-comics" target="_blank">reboot comic series</a> coming soon from<b> <a href="http://www.scoutcomics.com/" target="_blank">Scout Comics</a></b> (because ROM Spaceknight isn't the <i>ONLY</i> forgotten Marvel Comics character getting a new book at another publisher!!!) I figured it was HIGH time I took a look at the final Marvel Comics issue of David Oliphant's <b>Solarman </b>with<b> #2</b>! Written again by Stan "The Man" Lee, and illustrated by Mike Zeck, and Nestor Redondo.</div>
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-And away... we... go!:</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DJ-mj67ftEM/VsEnGd2aBrI/AAAAAAAACY8/jsL_hqpbPp4/s1600/Solar21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DJ-mj67ftEM/VsEnGd2aBrI/AAAAAAAACY8/jsL_hqpbPp4/s640/Solar21.jpg" width="451" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm glad that Beepie appears to be dead... and is now being used as a table. -And we <i>never</i> have to see him<i> again.</i></span></td></tr>
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<i>"Ozone? Fluorocarbons?? Global Warming??? Who gives a shit, Jenny?!? -I have to finish tracing this Doctor Doom picture so I can get a job at Marvel... like <a href="http://fuck-no-greg-land.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Greg Land</a>!</i><br />
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<i>...But, seriously, though: Fuck the environment."</i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jEGyC6jiRFo/VsEnH4nkmiI/AAAAAAAACZo/m3QvDMutoGE/s1600/Solar22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jEGyC6jiRFo/VsEnH4nkmiI/AAAAAAAACZo/m3QvDMutoGE/s640/Solar22.jpg" width="440" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Doom may not sue- but, <i>trust me,</i> Disney <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXx0pk9EthI" target="_blank"><i>absolutely</i></a> will!!!</td></tr>
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<i>"Let them 'egghead scientists' worry about the ozone! -They can't even draw Doctor Doom! Not like ME!: I swiped Sal Bescuma! -And Marvel LOVES to hire tracers! </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tracers like <a href="http://jimsmashextended.blogspot.co.uk/2008/07/greg-land-tracing-swiping-recycling.html" target="_blank">Greg Land.</a>"</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">(In case this is your first day; get all you need to know about <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/04/thebestaround.html" target="_blank"><b>Solarman</b></a> by clicking <b><a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/03/thegalaxyshottestnewhero.html" target="_blank">HERE!</a>)</b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-be_fhFxn--I/VsEnJWMoq5I/AAAAAAAACZo/VSqilsezB58/s1600/Solar23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="385" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-be_fhFxn--I/VsEnJWMoq5I/AAAAAAAACZo/VSqilsezB58/s400/Solar23.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Yup, Beepie, the chicks LOVE a man-child more than <i>ANYTHING!</i>"</td></tr>
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<b>Fuck!</b> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i> </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Nooo!!!</i></b></span> </div>
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<i>It lives!</i> <b>-Kill it with fire! </b></div>
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<b> </b>Melt it down to<span style="font-size: large;"> fucking </span>slag!!! </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">DAMN YOU, BEEPIE! YOU'RE A PRODUCT OF THE TIMES!!!</span><br />
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Yes, our little Benjamen Tucker is secretly The Blond-Haired Buffoon: SOLARMAN! </div>
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And, <i>weather permitting;</i> he's got the touch. -HE'S GOT THE POWER!: <b> </b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xqTA-HHgeZw/VsEnNMmPrvI/AAAAAAAACZo/O7aiGjPIKNQ/s1600/Solar24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xqTA-HHgeZw/VsEnNMmPrvI/AAAAAAAACZo/O7aiGjPIKNQ/s640/Solar24.jpg" width="624" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"-I'm a <b>goddamned </b>bowl of <b>Frosted Flakes</b>, bitch! <b>And I like to tussle...</b>"</i></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"-Just wait till we become a Major Motion Picture???"</i> Is that <i>seriously</i> what they were aspiring to? After a failed cartoon pilot, failed-to-launch toy-line, and a bomb of a number one issue?? They seriously thought they'd get a movie off the ground??? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(That being said- have any of you seen Stan Lee's <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/mar/31/stan-lee-creates-superhero-for-sky1-series-starring-james-nesbitt" target="_blank">Lucky Man</a>??? It's a fantastic new supernatural-ish crime thriller type show on <a href="https://www.sky.com/watch/channel/sky-1/lucky-man" target="_blank">Sky 1</a>.) </div>
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Why haven't I been talking about the plot of this issue? -You may be asking if you think anyone should actually give a shit about the plot to Solarman #2... Well- we're already on page eight, random mental patient; and so far this is <i>all </i>the plot there has been!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nvZ2xIoUj7o/VsEnMqUTcDI/AAAAAAAACZo/_U8MknvnQrE/s1600/Solar25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nvZ2xIoUj7o/VsEnMqUTcDI/AAAAAAAACZo/_U8MknvnQrE/s640/Solar25.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"Call me Nobody!"</b></i> ...So is that <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QTHnW6j7g3I/UzX2vjA2zUI/AAAAAAAAA6o/_RO6ZJ09fJo/s1600/Solarman+%252818%2529.jpg" target="_blank">recycled variation</a> meant to be ,like, your catchphrase or something? <i> Yikes...</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
Yes: Solarman will practically cripple you- a <b>fitting</b> punishment for <i>threatening</i> to beat someone up.<br />
"I'm an AMAZING Superhero." -Solarman, 1990<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ic0DCQq93WE/VsEnOGnfnSI/AAAAAAAACZo/HN2VIfgDb-Q/s1600/Solar26.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ic0DCQq93WE/VsEnOGnfnSI/AAAAAAAACZo/HN2VIfgDb-Q/s640/Solar26.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jesus, dude- calm down... put it back in your pants.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Stan Lee is just revisiting shit from issue one... Ben Tucker likes comics, his Father thinks comics are for <i>fucking nerds, </i>and he wishes his Son was a <i>cool </i><b>jock</b> instead! The dorky kid just want's to tell his Dad that he's Solarman, so he'll <i>finally </i>be proud of him... <i>-Yadda, yadda, yadda... </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yTjlp8vtCN8/VsEnPjUPudI/AAAAAAAACZo/PTScTI8Lz0Y/s1600/Solar27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yTjlp8vtCN8/VsEnPjUPudI/AAAAAAAACZo/PTScTI8Lz0Y/s1600/Solar27.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"-Next you'll be telling me you're<i> <b>'a gay'</b></i>!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i>"-Comic Books?!? I fuckin' knew it- my lousy kid's a fuckin' geek! I wish your Mother would'a listened ta me when I tried to get her to have that abortion... Better you never lived at all, than be alive and reading comic books!" </i><br />
<br /></div>
<i><b>So</b></i> very two-dimensional...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-viC4fVVsyaM/VsEwQ5BCqsI/AAAAAAAACZw/LtQBLADRLq0/s1600/Solar28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-viC4fVVsyaM/VsEwQ5BCqsI/AAAAAAAACZw/LtQBLADRLq0/s640/Solar28.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i>"Hmmm... She probably<b> got </b>that idea from me not caring <b>at all</b> abut the 'real world' earlier, when I was only caring about myself and not the real world at all. -And I kept telling her so."</i><br />
<br /></div>
<br />
Okay, so Doctor Doom is about to hold our ozone hostage, and Ben thinks HE can get in to Doom's Embassy to stop him... he's just lucky that, for some reason, Doom thinks an article in the local school paper could be <i>just</i> the boost his image needs!:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOBP8QvYF3M/VsEnRxuB2RI/AAAAAAAACZo/1F9XK9RFFGM/s1600/Solar29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOBP8QvYF3M/VsEnRxuB2RI/AAAAAAAACZo/1F9XK9RFFGM/s1600/Solar29.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is fifty shades of fucked up...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
-Doctor Doom throws the kid in the dungeon because he happens to see the controls to his M.A.S.S. Device...<br />
But Doom never planned on sunlight happening to shine through a window!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
So Solarman and Doctor Doom fight for awhile... and it's <i>not</i> as cool as you'd<i> think</i> it wold be... and then:<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gEs2tCxKqIk/VsEnIcrkNTI/AAAAAAAACZo/ovJ84GZjIAA/s1600/Solar210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gEs2tCxKqIk/VsEnIcrkNTI/AAAAAAAACZo/ovJ84GZjIAA/s1600/Solar210.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>" *cough* I have the flu right now- but I'll get you next time, Gadget! NEXT TIME!!!"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Seriously... <i>what the fuck?</i> How is an issue definitively set in the<i> actual</i> Marvel universe, featuring Doctor Doom!, not as good as the first issue/cartoon-pilot was???<br />
<br />
I mean- it's dumb. And it's fun to read and look at how dumb it is... but; there is no feeling of joy this time... There's no sense of the cartoon, childlike wonder Stan Lee is so good at doing.<br />
This just feels soulless. -Like after the property flopped, they felt defeated... and then this issue was obligated.<br />
So, like- they tried to have SOME fun with it... but it just feels so bitter and joyless overall.<br />
<br />
Also- why was it a holographic image of Doctor Doom and not just a Doombot? It's ALWAYS a DOOMBOT! <b><i>Come on!!!</i></b><br />
And how was Solarman even fighting a hologram to begin with? Okay, sure- The X-Men's Danger Room has hard-light holograms they interact with while training... but they<i> can't</i> exist <i>outside</i> of the Danger Room. The hologram Doom goes outside at the end there! Plus the Danger Room is a room specialized to generate holograms- the Latverian Embassy does not appear to be.<br />
<br />
...I am WAY overthinking the ending to fuckin' Solarman number two......<br />
<br />
I'm going to go smoke a joint now, and eat a whole pizza...<br />
(Looking forward to seeing what this re-boot is all about!)The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-68608812021449974772016-02-14T03:00:00.000-05:002016-02-16T23:14:05.008-05:00Jam it up your... ear.<span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jNfCFMxW_0s/VrVt4TKrPLI/AAAAAAAACXk/hRs1dQUdLfg/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jNfCFMxW_0s/VrVt4TKrPLI/AAAAAAAACXk/hRs1dQUdLfg/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25287%2529.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Yeah, get me hot! I've got a thick, throbbing, juicy MAD ON from all this pounding!"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
......subtext in comics can be so weird.</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I looked at issue #1 of <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/02/ridethewave.html" target="_blank">Armageddon: Inferno</a> by John Ostrander, and (mostly) Luke McDonnell, a little over one year ago... so, I figure it's time for a quick look at some of the little things that made me laugh from the rest of the four issue miniseries...</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">...starting with </span>an entry for <a href="http://www.superdickery.com/tag/superman-is-a-dick/" target="_blank">Superdick<span style="font-size: small;">e</span>ry!:</a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-789JkR2T8Nc/VrVruKTuSJI/AAAAAAAACXM/3fcYk482Idc/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-789JkR2T8Nc/VrVruKTuSJI/AAAAAAAACXM/3fcYk482Idc/s640/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="630" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">-Sanctimonious prick!</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"I can eat them and never gain an ounce! You on the other hand... Always be dieting, Lois. -You know Superman's motto is: No fatties! You don't want to be a fatty, do you Lois?" </i></div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_eaoSwiawXI/VrVrto3XwkI/AAAAAAAACXc/yc0vV0kVOk0/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_eaoSwiawXI/VrVrto3XwkI/AAAAAAAACXc/yc0vV0kVOk0/s640/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="447" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Art by Walter Simonson, I think? So many people did pencils on these issues...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yes, Guy- Dinosaurs are<i>... just like</i> men. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">¡</span>???!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/02/Batmanisadick.html" target="_blank">I can see why Batman liked you <i>better this way?</i></a></div>
<br />
<i>"...Adam Strange?</i>" <b>HA! </b> I'm <i>so</i> glad Strarfire is back to being so lovably ignorant like this again. Her new series by Jimmy Palmiotti, Amanda Conner, and Emanuela Lupacchino is fantastic! And to bring it all back around to now- she kissed a dolphin in a recent issue... Too bad Nu52 DC ruined Lobo because I smell cross-over potential!<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tApL9xILR5w/VrVrvtU554I/AAAAAAAACXc/VWlULD2vwhc/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tApL9xILR5w/VrVrvtU554I/AAAAAAAACXc/VWlULD2vwhc/s640/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25284%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's a really cool looking shot of Spectre...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"He <b>enters</b> me."</i> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/01/baffledfish.html" target="_blank">-No homo.</a></div>
<br />
On a quick side-note: Anyone watching Legends of Tomorrow? It's already the best of the three shows. SO much comic-book goodness! I dig how their time-traveling-ship is called The Waverider in an obvious nod to, <i>duh!</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>*Embiggen any page in the usual ways*</i></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cAoDyd4SFAg/VrVrzb1W5eI/AAAAAAAACXc/vqdBphrVBU4/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cAoDyd4SFAg/VrVrzb1W5eI/AAAAAAAACXc/vqdBphrVBU4/s640/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25285%2529.jpg" width="433" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Power Girl: Staunch Men's Rights Activist.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I seriously won't be able to help referring to Power Girl as "Pound Cakes" for the rest of my life.</div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-880bB6QhvOk/VrVry-EVE5I/AAAAAAAACXc/ibYxMeDeGOc/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-880bB6QhvOk/VrVry-EVE5I/AAAAAAAACXc/ibYxMeDeGOc/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25286%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pencils by Art Adams</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Darn! ...Eating ain't cheating?" </div>
<br />
<br />
<b>Spoiler alert:</b> The demon Abraxis is killed-off by a bunch of naked, hairy
cavemen with borrowed power, from the Norse Gods, that they got by literally high-fiving
The JSA.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dkgbtGn3bEg/VrVrqUzldwI/AAAAAAAACXc/c60l8cv4PqE/s1600/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dkgbtGn3bEg/VrVrqUzldwI/AAAAAAAACXc/c60l8cv4PqE/s640/DCArmagedonInferno%2B%25283%2529.jpg" width="441" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Art by Dick Giordano?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
-Bet you didn't see THAT one coming. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-55183070451708213202016-02-08T08:00:00.000-05:002016-02-11T15:34:41.744-05:00The New Warriors: Forces Of Darkness, Forces Of Light<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">~T<span style="font-size: small;">oday we take a quick look at <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/06/awesomewarriors.html" target="_blank">T</a></span></span><a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/06/awesomewarriors.html" target="_blank">he New Warriors</a> #33, and Annual #3, Written by <i>Fabian Nicieza</i>, and Penciled by <i>Darick Robertson.</i> Both parts of the <b>Forces Of Darkness, Forces Of Light</b> story-line. <i><b>Tons</b></i> of guest-stars in this arc featuring a <i>little shit of</i> <i>a villain</i> called Darkling.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d6yM38zKyHw/VrRHTKbabXI/AAAAAAAACW0/_T8bKx9T2GE/s1600/NW1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d6yM38zKyHw/VrRHTKbabXI/AAAAAAAACW0/_T8bKx9T2GE/s640/NW1.jpg" width="512" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just let him know this is a Safe Zone, and he needs to check his privilege...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
...because his emo-rhetoric is a <i>total </i>trigger for me.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
He's basically a mutant imbued with <b>Darkforce Energy</b>. And it's cool how this brings in other characters who are tied to the Darkforce like Cloak, Shroud, and Silhouette... Darkling's powers include control over the Darkforce, being able to control others with it, unleashing people's violent tendencies, and also whining about his lot in life... like, a lot. -He's <i>such</i> a teen-angsty<i> little bitch.</i> <b>I hate him... </b><br />
...but I guess that's good, right? You <i>should</i><b> really hate </b>the bad guy of a story! <i>Except</i> he's written in a way where they were <i>really trying</i> to give him a tragic depth- so you'd feel <i>sorry</i> for him.<br />
Actual Darkling quote: <i>"None of you understands! The darkness is the only thing that's ever cared."</i> <i><b> </b></i><br />
<i><b>Ughhh...</b></i><br />
<br />
But first thing's first- let's back up a bit; I gotta say how much I've always enjoyed the dynamic between
Spidey and <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/12/sexydarkhawk.html" target="_blank">The Warriors</a>. He has <b>no</b> patience for their lack of experience. Somehow<i> he</i> ends up being the mature one. Sometimes they look to him as a mentor, and sometimes he forces it on them with these self-righteous lectures, but either way- he just comes off as the "lame, old dude".<br />
He just always has great
interactions with them- Speedball, and Darkhawk, especially. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Spider-Man really does<i> not</i> like Darkhawk, but more on that another time...)</span> Plus it's always
nice to see Firestar and him together... for nostalgic reasons.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>*Any page can be enlarged by the usual methods* </b></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q_juFW8CO-M/VrRHdK_hLxI/AAAAAAAACW8/OJaXd5beI0w/s640/NW6.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="417" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, it's not bad, but I'm partial to her 'Amazing Friends' costume.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I <b>do not</b> want to know how many third-graders Darkhawk has greased-up before, or the reason why he did it...</div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_szAD3Ovq7w/VrRHh1Wb94I/AAAAAAAACW8/1QB-F2z6VAE/s1600/NW8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_szAD3Ovq7w/VrRHh1Wb94I/AAAAAAAACW8/1QB-F2z6VAE/s400/NW8.jpg" width="262" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Turbo, you are a one-pump-chump!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dkDMFm4ewzo/VrRHfX2GC1I/AAAAAAAACW8/6tk8YWP0tcM/s400/NW7.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="273" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="st"> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Hahaha-</i> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/03/NathanielRichardsPharaohRama-TutScarletCenturionVictorTimelyImmortusEVERYBODY.html" target="_blank">"They got an operation for that kinda thing..."</a> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/01/BEWWWBS.html" target="_blank"><b>Speedball</b></a> is <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/speedball-tobounceornottobounce.html" target="_blank"><b>the best.</b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I <b>love</b> how Spidey gives ZERO fucks about Turbo!</div>
<br />
<br />
Anyways, Firestar says she could <i>easily </i>end the attack on New York- but Crystal suggests all the rampant microwaves from a blast that large could be dangerous to the city, and <i>everyone's</i> crotches...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DnKlpa0LYsI/VrRHTx4Os6I/AAAAAAAACW0/HZ4JKwTl1V4/s1600/NW3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DnKlpa0LYsI/VrRHTx4Os6I/AAAAAAAACW0/HZ4JKwTl1V4/s1600/NW3.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Relax. No girl will EVER love you enough to want a Turbo Jr.!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But they defeat Darkling with a big <span style="font-size: x-small;">(and sexy)</span> one-two-punch; with Firestar eventually saying 'fuck it' and going nova anyways...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n0zqclP77k8/VrRHVaTsPuI/AAAAAAAACW8/n18CabxFGyc/s1600/NW2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n0zqclP77k8/VrRHVaTsPuI/AAAAAAAACW8/n18CabxFGyc/s640/NW2.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boom.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
...and then <b>Nova</b> bringing in someone who has a lot of experience in dealing with darkness:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A6Hmear5cE0/VrRHY9TZz-I/AAAAAAAACW8/e6ahv0ZnKho/s1600/NW4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A6Hmear5cE0/VrRHY9TZz-I/AAAAAAAACW8/e6ahv0ZnKho/s640/NW4.jpg" width="422" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BOOM!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The back up stories were always pretty good in the 1993 Annuals... There is a fun Speedball one by Robertson and Ian Akin. And another where Turbo goes to a comic convention thinking his costume will get him right in... but of course no one knows who fuckin' Turbo is.<br />
Then there is this great little dig at a comic that is <b>in no way</b> <i>still found</i> <span data-dobid="hdw">en masse</span> in comic-book-box quarter-bins:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rKMni0NVcUk/VrRHaP-xAXI/AAAAAAAACW8/ie8UPmfUvKw/s1600/NW5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="635" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rKMni0NVcUk/VrRHaP-xAXI/AAAAAAAACW8/ie8UPmfUvKw/s640/NW5.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(by Evan Skolnick and Manny Galan)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-76151338547559891192016-02-03T11:09:00.000-05:002016-02-05T01:14:45.616-05:00DC Comics' Millennium, Part III<span style="font-size: large;">~T</span>his final part of my <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/01/100thPost.html" target="_blank"><b>100th Post</b></a> will be all about<b> Batman!</b>: De <i>spookiest</i> one'a all!!!:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xbaw0G6FSLQ/VqU54ky_1AI/AAAAAAAACUI/yp9vTG6TLhY/s1600/m3_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="324" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xbaw0G6FSLQ/VqU54ky_1AI/AAAAAAAACUI/yp9vTG6TLhY/s640/m3_2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
The very idea of "superheroes"<i> is </i>scary in a way, sure... -This is not terribly subtle, but I like the idea of that. This series had a lot of good ideas... but, again; those ideas led to New Guardians- which is like experiencing brain-cancer. So...<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-abifF7vNQjE/VqU_qIYSPsI/AAAAAAAACU8/jjzrUZs2-Yk/s1600/m4_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="472" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-abifF7vNQjE/VqU_qIYSPsI/AAAAAAAACU8/jjzrUZs2-Yk/s640/m4_3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>"There's a Mr. Batman here to see you, Sir."</i><br />
<i>"Very well, send him in..." </i><br />
WTF did I just read??? <b><i>So weird. </i></b> -Wouldn't Batman just sneak in- appear in the guys office out of a shadowed corner right when he though he was alone? I mean, this is just how the scene starts.<br />
-So we're led to believe... in full costume... Batman just walked into this random prison, in the middle of the day, strolled past security, went up to the warden's receptionist, and asked if he was available for a walk-in appointment? That seems <b>so</b> UN-Batman of him, right? <i> Right???</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2CYqVsa7tCw/VqU8SNWQ9LI/AAAAAAAACUU/vNigkDtSgww/s1600/m5_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2CYqVsa7tCw/VqU8SNWQ9LI/AAAAAAAACUU/vNigkDtSgww/s640/m5_1.jpg" width="430" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2CYqVsa7tCw/VqU8SNWQ9LI/AAAAAAAACUU/vNigkDtSgww/s1600/m5_1.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #0000ee;">(((embiggen to read)))</span></span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
-Serious props to Joe Staton and Ian Gibson for the art in this series; I mean just look at that image of Superman descending down to the surface up there- that is some fantastic old-school art. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Bs1FCotsSQ/VrIkuKC2VTI/AAAAAAAACWE/gvqdt_H5CJA/s1600/m5_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Bs1FCotsSQ/VrIkuKC2VTI/AAAAAAAACWE/gvqdt_H5CJA/s1600/m5_2.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Now, I know <a href="http://www.superdickery.com/tag/superman-is-a-dick/" target="_blank">Superman is famously a dick.</a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-But Batman is also a dick.</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TA7XVtl7pXk/VqU-C-6pkuI/AAAAAAAACUo/KmePyuliDro/s1600/m5_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TA7XVtl7pXk/VqU-C-6pkuI/AAAAAAAACUo/KmePyuliDro/s640/m5_3.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He HAD to of planned that! -Timed it out perfectly to rub it in Superman's fuckin' face!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Seriously... <i>such</i> a dick.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zrCBnT_pl9k/VqU-SYrob0I/AAAAAAAACUw/FEuZehMuEIY/s1600/m6_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="427" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zrCBnT_pl9k/VqU-SYrob0I/AAAAAAAACUw/FEuZehMuEIY/s640/m6_1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I know people are probably pretty goddamned used to Frank Miller's All-Star Batman, or modern-day Nu52 Batman being a total dick to everyone... but it's weird seeing THIS Batman like that.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kyYte041AxI/VrIgAdDqK7I/AAAAAAAACVw/QHC2bMt9qSw/s1600/m6_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kyYte041AxI/VrIgAdDqK7I/AAAAAAAACVw/QHC2bMt9qSw/s1600/m6_4.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(This was when Guy was temporarily retarded, otherwise he could TOTALLY out-dick Batman...)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-petCXJFrhH0/VrIgBUO0fUI/AAAAAAAACV0/31kRaRzheQg/s1600/m5_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-petCXJFrhH0/VrIgBUO0fUI/AAAAAAAACV0/31kRaRzheQg/s1600/m5_5.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at that exit! -What a drama-queen...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"The Batman gives zero fucks about this conversation, Miracle Mon."</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well, that's all for my quick look through Millennium! <br />
No idea what I'll be posting next... but <i>stay tuned</i> to <b>this channel!</b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">And go read some comics! </span></b></div>
<br />
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-54422575575541290502016-01-28T09:00:00.000-05:002016-02-03T11:20:07.549-05:00DC Comics' Millennium, Part II<span style="font-size: large;">~S</span>o, what's the <i>other</i> part of this comic about?<br />
Well, former Guardian; Heru (and his mate; Nadia) gather a group of <i>'chosen ones'</i> (who will advance the next level of human evolution into the new... <b>millennium. </b><span style="font-size: xx-small;">get it?</span>) all of different ages, races, religions <span style="font-size: xx-small;">etc...</span> to be representative of the entire human race... and then there's <span class="st">Jason Woodrue: </span><span class="st"><b>The Floronic Man</b> </span>(who is <i>always</i> awesome btdubs)... but then <b>also</b><i> this guy</i> for some reason?: <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sMh1VsYNME8/VqROSfwwVgI/AAAAAAAACTM/Tv62e71j0Jg/s1600/m4_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sMh1VsYNME8/VqROSfwwVgI/AAAAAAAACTM/Tv62e71j0Jg/s640/m4_1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="_Tgc">-It's not THAT funny, Kilowog. Take a breath...</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
It's never explained why he's there- what his purpose is (except to suck as a person)- he just says a bunch of bigoted things, every one hates him, and eventually he just says "Fuck this!" and leaves and no one cares or tries to stop him, and John Stewart punches him in the face with a big green ring fist... I suppose he goes on to be a foil for the New Guardians in their comic...<i> whatever.</i><br />
<br />
<i></i><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IttMDc1FPGg/VqRRtYlCtuI/AAAAAAAACTY/crdDhP3Iaew/s1600/m5_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IttMDc1FPGg/VqRRtYlCtuI/AAAAAAAACTY/crdDhP3Iaew/s1600/m5_4.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ummm...<i> rrrrrright.</i> -That all checks out! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The entire point of this whole comic is undone later on in continuity when Heru shows back up and goes: "Oh, psych! You <i>"New Guardians"</i> weren't even the REAL plan- we made <b>The True Chosen</b> to be THE REAL, real, for-realsies new Guardians of the Universe off-screen at some point..." -But we never see them at all... And the New Guardians just went away because they were stupid.<br />
And the regular Guardians all just came back. -because COMICS!!!<br />
<br />
There were <b>FORTY</b> fucking tie-in issues to this fucking thing, too! I'm no where near to having all of them...<br />
...and I'm okay with that.<br />
<br />
-But in The Spectre #10 by Doug Moench, and Gray Morrow:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3BbAfbr8BAw/VqmxZZ8qThI/AAAAAAAACVY/MwWN4dC0QnA/s1600/spec10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3BbAfbr8BAw/VqmxZZ8qThI/AAAAAAAACVY/MwWN4dC0QnA/s640/spec10.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"No homo."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Later in the issue- <span class="st">Jim Corrigan</span> refers to The Spectre as a...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ndO4HWjSvdw/VqRUhr8hNtI/AAAAAAAACTs/kLNJkO94Q2A/s1600/spec10_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ndO4HWjSvdw/VqRUhr8hNtI/AAAAAAAACTs/kLNJkO94Q2A/s1600/spec10_2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>HARSH! </b><br />
<br />
...and somehow racist?<br />
<br />
<br />
-In the end; it's just kind of lame that The Manhunters blow their cover just to try and stop a bunch of weird people who are picked and given "enlightenment" (aka smug lectures, and then powers) so they can fuck and have kids- who would begin our evolution into the future...<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even this random fish was confused by it.</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xR3aP-S7uEo/VqmxkzDNCpI/AAAAAAAACVg/s7v-8fGncdg/s1600/m6_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xR3aP-S7uEo/VqmxkzDNCpI/AAAAAAAACVg/s7v-8fGncdg/s1600/m6_2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bloop, indeed- little perplexed fishy...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
That <b>was</b> <i>seriously</i> the whole point of the New Guardians, by the way: <b>To fuck. </b><br />
To spread that enlightened, superior DNA <i>alllllll</i> over the place.<br />
-And I'm pretty sure they failed at it.<br />
One of them becomes a floating head, another a robot- so no reproductive organs there. One is gay. Another is a fucking plant. One dies... two others get AIDS from a vampire, and none of us ever cared about any of this to begin with.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's pretentious and stupid...<br />
<br />
<br />
...but like I said; <span class="st">The Floronic Man</span> is <b>awesome.</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
-Stay tuned for the final part; highlighting <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/02/Batmanisadick.html" target="_blank">Batman being a total dick</a> to everyone!<br />
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-66979385240331221722016-01-25T08:00:00.000-05:002016-02-03T11:18:48.980-05:00~100th post! DC's MILLENNIUM!!!<span style="font-size: large;">-F</span>or all the shit it gets... <b>Millennium</b> wasn't bad at all.........<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
...okay, okay; <i>HALF</i> of the 1987 Millennium crossover/event wasn't bad. The <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/01/baffledfish.html" target="_blank">other half</a> was pretentious, presumptuous, had too many plot-holes, and led to the truly <i>horrendous</i> <b>New Guardians</b> comic series. -BUT the Manhunter half of the story-line was <i>really</i> fucking cool!!! And a lot of neat things happened in the eight issues by Steve Englehart, Joe Staton, and Ian Gibson... too many to go over here. However- for my <b>100th post</b>; I'd like to share a few of the little things that made me laugh.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I</span>n case you're unfamiliar: As the Dalek's say <i>"Exterminate!"</i>, and The Borg say <i>"Resistance is futile..."; </i>The Manhunter's saying is "No Man Escapes The Manhunters!" and they are in full-on Hail-Hydra-whisper-mode in this part of the story... They've infiltrated the entire DC Universe, replacing high ranking officials and many supporting characters with androids, willing human agents, and/or mind-controlled ones...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RpCDPB1LB2w/VqQIx_8TMVI/AAAAAAAACRg/l81jVvNGAQQ/s1600/m3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RpCDPB1LB2w/VqQIx_8TMVI/AAAAAAAACRg/l81jVvNGAQQ/s400/m3.jpg" width="330" /></a></div>
<br />
<center>
And look how progressive, and inclusive, The Manhunters are being! It's good to see that even though they are evil- they're growing as people.</center>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Also, the fact that <b>Martian Manhunter</b> is in the Justice League while all this is happening does not go unreferenced:</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sn4_gFVqPw4/VqQMsXc0sTI/AAAAAAAACRs/sUSgRUcwkxw/s1600/m3_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sn4_gFVqPw4/VqQMsXc0sTI/AAAAAAAACRs/sUSgRUcwkxw/s640/m3_4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>J'onn J'onzz</b>: "What!? <i>Nooo</i>... I'm not a *air quotes* Manhunter *air quotes*</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What ever gave you <i>that</i> idea? I never have been, or will be, referred to as such."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uwIFtTxIDxU/VqQUEr86K2I/AAAAAAAACSM/zttUjXZU1rg/s1600/ManHunter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="528" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uwIFtTxIDxU/VqQUEr86K2I/AAAAAAAACSM/zttUjXZU1rg/s640/ManHunter.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>D'oh!</b></i></span>" </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, well... The
League is "not concerned" about this impending <i>NOT MARTIAN</i> Manhunter plot:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-neP0G5FKqho/VqQpUnodSQI/AAAAAAAACSk/vnnZTHa1GbA/s1600/m3_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-neP0G5FKqho/VqQpUnodSQI/AAAAAAAACSk/vnnZTHa1GbA/s1600/m3_5.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-The general public is <i>way</i> too easily (and
comically) calmed about the whole thing...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="st"><i>"<b>RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!! </b></i> ...okay, we trust you now."</span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="st">-General Eiling </span>and the army are ignoring it, <span class="st">Amanda Waller</span> is like
"Fuck it.", and poor Captain Atom is just embarrassed he's even in this fucking
event!:</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E5fke4WokY8/VqQpEBGmisI/AAAAAAAACSg/jHJsyYIae7g/s1600/m3_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E5fke4WokY8/VqQpEBGmisI/AAAAAAAACSg/jHJsyYIae7g/s1600/m3_3.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Okay, J'onzz... Let it go already... <i><span data-dobid="hdw">sheesh:</span></i><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4NNAC7YxITs/VqQsaLS8-9I/AAAAAAAACSw/9kuMoXqfHcA/s1600/m4_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="631" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4NNAC7YxITs/VqQsaLS8-9I/AAAAAAAACSw/9kuMoXqfHcA/s640/m4_2.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah but The Murder-Everybody-Else Squad isn't as catchy, Deadshot...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
-I like how Mister Miracle is <i>just now</i> making the connection as he says his name out loud.<br />
<br />
Gotta love those old-school costumes though! <b>lol: Slipknot.</b> <span class="st">(That <i>really</i> should have been Adam Beach's costume for the Suicide Squad movie! Oh, and how much you want to bet he's the first one to die in it?)</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="st">HE'S BETRAYED US THE WAY HE PREVIOUSLY BETRAYED THEM! WHO COULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING!?!:</span><br />
<span class="st"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4e5vdFEY1MI/VqQwtdnUCXI/AAAAAAAACS8/22gXg4-LQuw/s1600/m6_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4e5vdFEY1MI/VqQwtdnUCXI/AAAAAAAACS8/22gXg4-LQuw/s1600/m6_3.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"YES! I AM VERY EAGER TO CHECK SOMEHOW!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<br />
-I'm going to split this die cut, embossed, foil cover, hologram sticker, free poster inside, special anniversary, collector's item #100 extravaganza into three separate parts or this post will be WAY too long!<br />
In <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/01/baffledfish.html" target="_blank"><b>Part II</b></a> I'll touch on the other half of the plot to this event.<br />
And <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2016/02/Batmanisadick.html" target="_blank"><b>Part III</b></a> will be Batman, Batman, Batman!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks for sticking with me for a hundred posts! Lots more to come.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">NOW GO READ SOME COMICS!!!</span><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-48044094608744332622016-01-18T00:17:00.000-05:002016-01-23T17:59:40.681-05:00Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so...<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">~I</span> talked <i>very</i> briefly about issue #1 of <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/03/NathanielRichardsPharaohRama-TutScarletCenturionVictorTimelyImmortusEVERYBODY.html"><b>Avengers: <i>The Terminatrix Objective</i></b></a><span style="font-size: small;">, by Mark Gruenwald & Mike Gustovich, awhile ago... I recently got the other three issues of the series, and after giving it a read- all I can say is:</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Wait... <i>what?</i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="st">Don't get me wrong; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k_TnZ39DOw" target="_blank"><b>Kang The Conqueror</b></a><i> </i></span>is one of my<i> all-<b>time</b></i> favorites <span style="font-size: x-small;">(see what I did there?)</span>, and I've always been a total sucker for time-travel stories. </span><span style="font-size: small;">But </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The Terminatrix Objective</i> almost reads like an unintentional comedy, or a science-fiction spoof... Maybe it's just my frame of reference but I kept reading it with the tone of a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxWN8AhNER0" target="_blank">Red Dwarf</a> episode, or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0EV4HJv9Ks" target="_blank">Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy:</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_aPTF8-iG6k/VWOHfbfHfbI/AAAAAAAACFU/pbVduFaeowc/s1600/terminatrix%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="461" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_aPTF8-iG6k/VWOHfbfHfbI/AAAAAAAACFU/pbVduFaeowc/s640/terminatrix%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Five to one against and falling... four to one against and falling... three to one... two... one... <b>probability factor </b>of one to one:<b> We have normality.</b> -I repeat we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem." </i></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">-And I kept doing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC3y0eDEN1A" target="_blank"><b>The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future </b></a></span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTP15uTE8aA" target="_blank">/ Turkatron</a> </b>voice for<b> </b>Terminatrix:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PMNwzoG34TQ/VWOHfNasXhI/AAAAAAAACFQ/SvKFLJnHuhM/s1600/terminatrix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PMNwzoG34TQ/VWOHfNasXhI/AAAAAAAACFQ/SvKFLJnHuhM/s640/terminatrix.jpg" width="428" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Ah-ha-ha-ha!!! </i> 'Armor <i>undramatically</i> on!' I l<i>ove</i> the helmet slowly floating over...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey. The French craved it, and, as a result, turkey became the only food source for France, which is now called RoboFrance 29!"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ImvVpBBiOYU" width="420"></iframe><br /></div>
<br />
<br />
-Then Iron Man and War-Machine were just <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkba6gxzF0U" target="_blank">Rick and Morty.</a><br />
I'm just too geeky, I guess- it made it hard to pay attention:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P4yVjW9Sm54/VWOHeuJn2DI/AAAAAAAACFI/lEQzzrELc8I/s1600/terminatrix%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="188" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P4yVjW9Sm54/VWOHeuJn2DI/AAAAAAAACFI/lEQzzrELc8I/s640/terminatrix%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Well then get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it's together. ...and if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere ya know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, or- or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together... Get your shit together."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span>The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-76949039280190775112016-01-11T06:00:00.000-05:002016-01-11T06:00:11.959-05:00Search Keywords IV: Tentacle Grape<span style="font-size: large;">~Y</span>ou may have noticed that, until recently, I was away for quite awhile...<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Long enough that there was plenty of new <b>Search Keywords</b> in my <b>Blogger Stats</b> section. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<span class="st">So- once more unto the breach</span>, Mental Organisms; to find out what people were <b>Googling</b> when they somehow,<i> mostly accidentally, </i>came across my site. <b>And I shall attempt to give them what they truly wanted.</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">S</span>hockingly... <span style="color: #999999;">It<i> has </i>been <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/04/weepforhumanity.html" target="_blank">worse</a> in <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/08/YOUDIDTHIS.html" target="_blank">past</a> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/12/snacktacular.html">editions.</a></span> Maybe there<i> is</i> hope for humanity.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or maybe they are all just too busy searching for <i>"nova frankie raye naked"</i>:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZVf-tuNMoT8/Vo4L-_vPmFI/AAAAAAAACO8/z5WJynEwGas/s1600/NovaNaked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZVf-tuNMoT8/Vo4L-_vPmFI/AAAAAAAACO8/z5WJynEwGas/s320/NovaNaked.jpg" width="218" /></a><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LTAA1fVdVcU/Vo4MAbajDhI/AAAAAAAACPQ/7OOVzBIiJiQ/s1600/SexyNova.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="309" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LTAA1fVdVcU/Vo4MAbajDhI/AAAAAAAACPQ/7OOVzBIiJiQ/s400/SexyNova.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
But why did they feel the need to add in the qualifier "naked"??? That's how she is <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/05/thepolyamorousherold.html" target="_blank">ALL OF THE TIME.</a> She <b>has no</b> costume! <i>-Power Cosmic Chic.</i><br />
Even The Silver Surfer eventually stopped wearing his trunks... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wait... no wonder they hooked-up!; they were the only Heralds of Galactus who never had clothes on. -They were <i>always</i> ready to go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> A</span>lright, what's next? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "avengelyne spank"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Help yourself?:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ee6C-qmQKCY/Vo4MMbcaetI/AAAAAAAACRM/JAaGnnPVSoE/s1600/Avengelynefap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ee6C-qmQKCY/Vo4MMbcaetI/AAAAAAAACRM/JAaGnnPVSoE/s1600/Avengelynefap.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or did they mean they wanted to see Avengelyne<i> getting</i> spanked? -Not that they wanted to spank it <i>to</i> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/02/fapfapfapfapfapfap.html" target="_blank">Avengelyne?</a> Oh, well; <b>too late now. </b> They've probably already finished...</div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">N</span>ext?<br />
<i> "adam silver hack-a-s" </i><br />
<i>Uhhhh,</i> okay?<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Google tells me there is an NBA commissioner called Adam Silver... and he had something called a Hack-a-Shaq strategy? Or... something. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fraSdN-PG8">I got nothing.</a> This one is <i>clearly</i> outside of my wheelhouse.<br />
How the fuck did this search even lead to my site? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>...</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Hmmm, w</span>hat else we got?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"ra na na na na naaa eh song?"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...dafuq??? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Best guess:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uYNMKZ90jtA?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Love that tune!<br />
<br />
<b>...</b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">"i</span>s <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/03/TMNTNRA.html" target="_blank">raphael and casey jones</a> best friends?" </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-Just like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYvMOf3hsGA" target="_blank">HHH and Shawn Michaels...</a> </div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>...</b></div>
<br />
<i>"la blue girl" </i>-I get this one <b>all the time! </b>Geeze, I use one La Blue Girl <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/07/thegameofflats.html" target="_blank">gif-image</a> as a joke <i>ONE time... </i>and <span class="st">hentai</span> fans are flocking to my site.<br />
<br />
-And speaking of <span style="color: #999999;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/TentacleGrapeSoda/" target="_blank">segues!</a></span>: <i>"wonder woman tentacles" </i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not surprisingly; turns out this <i>actually</i> really happens <b>all the time: </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyshT0UnypU/Vo4MJWgenZI/AAAAAAAACQw/YciUtW97kPs/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25288%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyshT0UnypU/Vo4MJWgenZI/AAAAAAAACQw/YciUtW97kPs/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25288%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(What is a tentacle but a fleshy, living rope?)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S_Q8miQKCfo/Vo4MHfSRoQI/AAAAAAAACQU/CP7uhxHTg8k/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S_Q8miQKCfo/Vo4MHfSRoQI/AAAAAAAACQU/CP7uhxHTg8k/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25285%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>No, <i>really:</i></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EpCvP8ymKy0/Vo4MFHZy8EI/AAAAAAAACP8/KXrr_3dgmhw/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EpCvP8ymKy0/Vo4MFHZy8EI/AAAAAAAACP8/KXrr_3dgmhw/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMEB2Xf9npo/Vo4MEFgcWvI/AAAAAAAACP0/MWpFTwfCJ4g/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMEB2Xf9npo/Vo4MEFgcWvI/AAAAAAAACP0/MWpFTwfCJ4g/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>-All the fucking time!:</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EZFWLRdv2xo/Vo4MG7phOjI/AAAAAAAACQQ/EB9ieo01dOw/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EZFWLRdv2xo/Vo4MG7phOjI/AAAAAAAACQQ/EB9ieo01dOw/s400/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25283%2529.jpg" width="256" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2ki_YLwhJ5E/Vo4MGbqul0I/AAAAAAAACQI/ZPLFSiH1x6A/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2ki_YLwhJ5E/Vo4MGbqul0I/AAAAAAAACQI/ZPLFSiH1x6A/s400/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25284%2529.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--_42c-wKulQ/Vo4MImPufQI/AAAAAAAACQo/CeOTQwijamI/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--_42c-wKulQ/Vo4MImPufQI/AAAAAAAACQo/CeOTQwijamI/s400/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25287%2529.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
-And speaking of segues:<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"artemis from the justice league of america"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/07/thegameofflats.html" target="_blank"><img alt="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/07/thegameofflats.html" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-COZlBS1f6jA/Vo4MIJ2yAQI/AAAAAAAACQc/gVe_Zdrq-nI/s1600/WonderWomanTentacles%2B%25286%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">O</span>kay, <i>okay...</i> let's move on to the next one: </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/03/scorpio.html" target="_blank"><i>"rule 63 scorpion"</i></a></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For those who do not know- <span class="st">Rule 63 of the internet states that: For any given male character, there is a female version of that character... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="st"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTyyvIR_H9c/Vo4MBf5ApMI/AAAAAAAACPc/rJwVkRxwFsw/s1600/Spider-ManRule63Carmilla_Black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTyyvIR_H9c/Vo4MBf5ApMI/AAAAAAAACPc/rJwVkRxwFsw/s640/Spider-ManRule63Carmilla_Black.jpg" width="333" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="st"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, after I really thought about it... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...they<i> probably</i> weren't searching for Carmilla Black here. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They were <i>really</i> probably<span style="color: #999999;"> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/01/littlethingsincomics6.html" target="_blank">trying</a> </span>to find something more like THIS:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tEinFGVBcik/Vo4L_jgIbiI/AAAAAAAACPE/LFbJ7DcGpWY/s1600/Rule63Scorpion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tEinFGVBcik/Vo4L_jgIbiI/AAAAAAAACPE/LFbJ7DcGpWY/s640/Rule63Scorpion.jpg" width="365" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"GET OVER HERE!!!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-That's more like it!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And, finally, I know it's due to the recent shared-universe (in both <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/04/staffenvy.html" target="_blank">comics</a> and movies) news but: </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"the visionaries"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"visionaries knights of the magical light"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"visionaries knights of the magical light online comic"<br />"visionaries: knights of the magical light, issue 1"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/04/staffenvy.html" target="_blank"><img alt="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/04/staffenvy.html" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eGvTY7-qOwE/Vo4L9339L-I/AAAAAAAACO0/CpyLldz-MpE/s1600/KnightsOfTheMagicalLight.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Now, that's what's up! </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, until next time; <span style="font-size: large;">GO READ SO COMICS!!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i> </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i> </i></b></div>
</div>
The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-21677840381108100372016-01-04T13:32:00.000-05:002016-01-04T13:55:53.270-05:00A Star Wars "Parody"<span style="font-size: x-large;">~W</span>ho's tired of hearing about <b>Star Wars</b> yet?<i> -Nobody?!? </i><br />
<br />
<b>Good.</b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJgLa3eKMYs" target="_blank">Everyone fucking loves Star Wars!</a></span></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5jd7I0A_SdE/Vod9PDQaXkI/AAAAAAAACKU/aDTVI0mlhoQ/s1600/FartWars%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5jd7I0A_SdE/Vod9PDQaXkI/AAAAAAAACKU/aDTVI0mlhoQ/s1600/FartWars%2B%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>-Those boots!!!</i> So ridiculously awesome!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
-This is <b>Entity Comics'</b> 1997 one-shot<i> parody </i>of the <b>Star Wars</b> films (written and illustrated by <a href="http://www.billmausart.com/billmausart/billmausart.html" target="_blank"><b>Bill Maus</b></a>), made just to take a few digs at the (then) current theatrically re-released / CGI-added versions of the movies; or really just the concept of them... I guess? I'm actually <i>not</i> sure what the point / reasoning was for this comic having been made. <span style="color: #444444;"> $$$</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-size: large;">O</span>ur comic begins with that old familiar crawl:</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SyFjVKO0nPE/Vod9SI3mRRI/AAAAAAAACKw/uP05Qqa5HKg/s1600/FartWars%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SyFjVKO0nPE/Vod9SI3mRRI/AAAAAAAACKw/uP05Qqa5HKg/s640/FartWars%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
..."Fart Wars"? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">-FART WARS?!? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">FUCKING FART WARS!?!?!?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zOscy2tNPqU/Vod9dYu-SjI/AAAAAAAACL8/Ka9KVh4JBbc/s1600/no%2521.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zOscy2tNPqU/Vod9dYu-SjI/AAAAAAAACL8/Ka9KVh4JBbc/s1600/no%2521.gif" /></a></span></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
*sigh* Okay...<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm going to start with the "best" "joke" in the entire comic, are you ready? -Your mileage may very, but this is going to set the bar:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TEFm2JGGHL0/Vod9SH2Ab3I/AAAAAAAACK0/CxAZwOMJLj0/s1600/FartWars%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TEFm2JGGHL0/Vod9SH2Ab3I/AAAAAAAACK0/CxAZwOMJLj0/s1600/FartWars%2B%25283%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
</div>
<br />
<i>That's</i> as good as it gets, people.<br />
You either mildly giggled to yourself, or you must have involuntarily groaned so loud it covered up your uncontrollable laughter. Either way; it's all downhill from here...<br />
Bill Maus is great, I love what he did with <b>Zen</b>, I've talked about <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/04/burnonewithCynder.html#more" target="_blank"><b>Nira X</b></a>
plenty before... I'm a fan of his art... but this comic is just... awful and stupid.<br />
Maybe that's the point? It's like it's trying for,
but isn't quite MAD Magazine quality humor... fuck, it's not even Cracked quality!: <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hi4BzrUGkdQ/Vod9S_hZoTI/AAAAAAAACK8/4jpXObacXiI/s1600/FartWars%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="348" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hi4BzrUGkdQ/Vod9S_hZoTI/AAAAAAAACK8/4jpXObacXiI/s640/FartWars%2B%25284%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Yeah!</i> "And you better be a fucking ball in the soft-reboot eighteen years later so it will make better sense!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sunglasses on C-3PO? THOSE DON'T BELONG THERE! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-INSTANT COMIC GOLD! </div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jtFazeVDQ48/Vod9TSv597I/AAAAAAAACLA/NWBRXGEeYgM/s1600/FartWars%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jtFazeVDQ48/Vod9TSv597I/AAAAAAAACLA/NWBRXGEeYgM/s1600/FartWars%2B%25285%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>HAHAHA! -</i>TOILET PAPER!!! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>IT'S FUNNY!</b></span><i><b> </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YOU USE TOILET PAPER<i> IN BATHROOMS</i> TO WIPE OFF<i> POOP...</i> FROM YOUR <i>BUTT!</i> <i>HAHAHA! </i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
POOP! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>TOILETS!! </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
BUTTS!!! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! </i><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">FART WARS! </span></i></b><i>AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!</i> </div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nQLUUR4T2Ck/VoeJAWvdbcI/AAAAAAAACMU/c6u9shLYlLw/s1600/FartWars%2B%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nQLUUR4T2Ck/VoeJAWvdbcI/AAAAAAAACMU/c6u9shLYlLw/s640/FartWars%2B%25286%2529.jpg" width="409" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nQLUUR4T2Ck/VoeJAWvdbcI/AAAAAAAACMU/c6u9shLYlLw/s1600/FartWars%2B%25286%2529.jpg" target="_blank">(((embiggen)))</a></div>
<br />
...is that?<br />
-Is that <i>Mr. Gone </i>from <b>The Maxx?</b> <i>......what the fuck???</i><br />
There and (forgive the pun) gone, no reference, no reason... what's the joke?<br />
-Is <i>that</i> the joke??? <br />
<br />
And we're nine pages in before we get the issue's first appearance of <b>Nira X</b>- who is just randomly in a panel with no setup whatsoever... Not even sure where she is supposed to be in relation to everyone else on the page?<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
And yes, that's Darth Vader- oh, I'm sorry: <b>Roll Vader,</b> because <b>comedy</b>? -Get it? Like a ROLL of TOILET PAPER! <i>AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! </i> -FARTING!</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9tlRYhru6UY/Vod9po5hxKI/AAAAAAAACMI/16f7JUugYww/s1600/facepalm.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9tlRYhru6UY/Vod9po5hxKI/AAAAAAAACMI/16f7JUugYww/s1600/facepalm.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> I</span> need a break from all this laughter. -Here's a nice little (I mean; now <i><b>super</b></i> offensive and degrading and should be banned and erased from all history ever!) Slave Leia pin-up... </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Fc9vG6guInY/Vod9aCUmZjI/AAAAAAAACLY/H2J4paek7Ic/s1600/FartWars%2B%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Fc9vG6guInY/Vod9aCUmZjI/AAAAAAAACLY/H2J4paek7Ic/s1600/FartWars%2B%25287%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Like I said; I like<b> <a href="http://billmausart.deviantart.com/" target="_blank">Bill Maus</a>'</b> art <i>a lot.</i> But it's like he <i>wrote</i> this thing in 5 minutes, drunk,<span style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>on the toilet,</i></span> on a dare...<br />
<br />
So, then <b>The Savage Dragon</b> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(with a tiny baby head)</span> shows up for <span style="font-size: large;"><b>no</b></span> reason, and is<b> not seen again after this page/panel.</b> And Bert from Sesame Street is there with a gun...playing Twister... because...... hilarious?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OviG5zszi4E/Vod9Z1TPVDI/AAAAAAAACLU/tzLHeN9zozM/s1600/FartWars%2B%25288%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OviG5zszi4E/Vod9Z1TPVDI/AAAAAAAACLU/tzLHeN9zozM/s1600/FartWars%2B%25288%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<b>-There are Family Guy set-ups to cut-away jokes that make more sense than the shit that keeps happening in this comic!!! </b></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3SN-wEMwKKc/Vod9bC9kvjI/AAAAAAAACLk/Rp3M5jbLgZo/s1600/FartWars%2B%25289%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3SN-wEMwKKc/Vod9bC9kvjI/AAAAAAAACLk/Rp3M5jbLgZo/s1600/FartWars%2B%25289%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">T</span>he alternate cover I always had (pictured at the top) has an alternate-title for the comic itself, and Nira X on it. So I never knew the actual comic was <i>really</i> called <span style="font-size: x-small;">*shudder*</span> <b>Fart Wars.</b> And I, naturally, assumed Nira X was going to feature prominently within. -With this above panel you have now seen the entirety of Nira X in this comic. I remember being so pissed off I spent $2.75 for this back then! This also features Entity Comics' character
The Skunk (another Bill Maus creation) whose books I've never read or
owned... It had six issues and an annual in 1996, and that's about all I
know.<br />
<br />
Here are the other covers; just for posterity's sake...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Special Edition Cover: </b> <b> Return of the One-Eye Cover:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BBTX-UyLykw/Vod9d-QcJxI/AAAAAAAACMA/LfzgWbsmJYs/s1600/poop2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BBTX-UyLykw/Vod9d-QcJxI/AAAAAAAACMA/LfzgWbsmJYs/s320/poop2.jpg" width="205" /></a></div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gnPSKnSp19o/Vod9c4s1q8I/AAAAAAAACLw/xYHyQmURoAs/s1600/poop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gnPSKnSp19o/Vod9c4s1q8I/AAAAAAAACLw/xYHyQmURoAs/s320/poop.jpg" width="205" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
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<br />
Then, <i>finally,</i> it ends:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mc0S9hfZ_CQ/Vod9Pqh7fMI/AAAAAAAACKY/h-Fqsn315QM/s1600/FartWars%2B%252810%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mc0S9hfZ_CQ/Vod9Pqh7fMI/AAAAAAAACKY/h-Fqsn315QM/s1600/FartWars%2B%252810%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! </i> -POOP!!! </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">POOP AND POOPING AND FARTS AND BUTTS AND TOILET PAPER <i>AND POOP! </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SNR-Wzc7s2Q/Vod9buZk37I/AAAAAAAACLo/U4TKtNaNH_o/s1600/madness.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SNR-Wzc7s2Q/Vod9buZk37I/AAAAAAAACLo/U4TKtNaNH_o/s320/madness.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I</span> can not overstate how frustratingly bad this thing is... Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me! I <i>fucking</i> <b>DARE YOU!</b><br />
<br />
I will give it this, though... The last page here:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gRehICIdPao/Vod9RFV013I/AAAAAAAACKg/sx-CUgH6l2s/s1600/FartWars%2B%252811%2529.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gRehICIdPao/Vod9RFV013I/AAAAAAAACKg/sx-CUgH6l2s/s1600/FartWars%2B%252811%2529.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gRehICIdPao/Vod9RFV013I/AAAAAAAACKg/sx-CUgH6l2s/s640/FartWars%2B%252811%2529.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
...is just as relevant to Star Wars today as it was then. Now<i> that </i>IS actually pretty funny! </div>
...but they didn't mean for it to be.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">T</span>here is also a back-up feature called "Star Snores" featuring the Adolescent Radioactive Blackbelt Hamsters... it sucks.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">W</span>hy does this comic exist? <br />
Did <b>George Lucas</b> read it and think it was hilarious? <br />
-Was Jar-Jar Binks the walking embodiment of this comic book???<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think my brain is broken.</div>
</div>
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<br />
<br />
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The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-86652384849930199212016-01-01T19:00:00.000-05:002016-01-06T22:25:23.264-05:00Samuree, Part III: So Long, and Thanks for All the Taint.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eQLdJewTVFw/VobrzFZrrmI/AAAAAAAACIs/Cvg8o3_Y7MU/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="611" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eQLdJewTVFw/VobrzFZrrmI/AAAAAAAACIs/Cvg8o3_Y7MU/s640/Samuree3%2B%25284%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Finally, exploitation aside... The actual plot:</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">~S</span>amuree is a white teenager who was stranded on an isolated Asian island as a young child. -You may have noticed, in the <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/taint-misbehavin.html">previous</a> <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/itsallaboutthattaint.html">parts</a>, her <i>totally</i> non-racist and broken-English way of speaking... and that is the reason why. She was trained in the ways of super-secret martial arts of the non-iron-fisted variety. So the basic plot, possibly unique at the time, is just a little bit been-there-and-done-that by now...<br />
Enter: Evil Nazi Scientists! -Who stumbled across the island and used it, and it's population, to master the technique of reanimating the dead to use as soldiers.<br />
But they too get stranded on the island, and miss the rest of the war. Proceeding to instead destroy everything and everyone Samuree has known and loved- and she swears vengeance!<br />
<br />
-Cut to modern day New York, where Zombie Soldiers are being sold to the highest bidder for crime/henchmen/private-militia reasons by the one surviving, evil, Nazi Scientist!<br />
Also- HEY!: Look at all these <i>other</i> Continuity Comics characters who show up! <b>Eat our shared universe, even if you're not hungry for it!!!</b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't worry- we'll force it down your fucking throat for your convenience!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BFEKzohlGb4/VobrwBDNTsI/AAAAAAAACIg/ywwa5JA3fLI/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BFEKzohlGb4/VobrwBDNTsI/AAAAAAAACIg/ywwa5JA3fLI/s640/Samuree3%2B%25283%2529.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
<br />
...From there she just gets her revenge on the Nazis, then moves on to battle a sorceress, and then later on an ancient demon because of reasons... Each story-line becoming less interesting than the last.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">B</span>ut<i> then</i> shit got <b><i>really</i> weird.</b> <br />
-Samuree goes to high-school, and then battles the local drug-dealer!<br />
It's not<i> just</i> bad- it's terribad.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Prepare to laugh your fucking ass off as we look at some of the final issues of the original series!:</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRn63RgdDuI/Vobsch3BpFI/AAAAAAAACJY/fdr4pS4Zplk/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRn63RgdDuI/Vobsch3BpFI/AAAAAAAACJY/fdr4pS4Zplk/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25286%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Ab-buh-buh-buh-buhhh seeeeeeeeex?!?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> But then; the <i>totally</i> real-life dangers of crack-cocaine rears it's ugly head! And our titular <span style="font-size: x-small;">(taintular?)</span> heroin (see what I did there?) is attacked in class by a fellow student!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-woTQ2r_-loE/Vobr4K6hlUI/AAAAAAAACI8/4oDwCoM2oiQ/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25287%2529.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;">(embiggen this page for reading...)</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-woTQ2r_-loE/Vobr4K6hlUI/AAAAAAAACI8/4oDwCoM2oiQ/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-woTQ2r_-loE/Vobr4K6hlUI/AAAAAAAACI8/4oDwCoM2oiQ/s640/Samuree3%2B%25287%2529.jpg" width="438" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And crack is, as we all know; F'WACK!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">S</span>adly, when <a href="http://synthetikxs.deviantart.com/">Beachum</a>
and his unique art style left: so did the many taint-shots. <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Now we have to <i>
get by</i> on your <u>standard</u> comic-book objectifications... </div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OPOluw1IEsY/VobrrYTsgNI/AAAAAAAACIU/kPZQ63y1BIs/s1600/Samuree3%2B%252811%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OPOluw1IEsY/VobrrYTsgNI/AAAAAAAACIU/kPZQ63y1BIs/s1600/Samuree3%2B%252811%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>JAIL-BAIT!</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
-That's her <span class="st">Air Force Liaison Officer</span>, and legal guardian, by the way- who she<i> totally</i> wants to fuck. Like: <i>REALLY</i> badly. She mentions, or thinks about it, often...<br />
It's
just so weird to me when they do this- NOTHING would be lost in the
story if the made her 19 instead of 16 years old, and changed high-school to
collage. It could/would be the <i>EXACT</i> same plot, just inherently less...
icky-feeling. And even then; not by <i>that</i> much!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Anyways- the other artists (Dave Hoover, & Clarke Hawbaker) do sneak in a couple of taint-shots for old-time's-sake:</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xYGYmdlyG74/Vobrq0ZO8LI/AAAAAAAACIQ/rXXZbrsjhmY/s1600/Samuree3%2B%252812%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xYGYmdlyG74/Vobrq0ZO8LI/AAAAAAAACIQ/rXXZbrsjhmY/s400/Samuree3%2B%252812%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GbjopEQMkGc/Vobr0IgoJyI/AAAAAAAACI0/KvkbWF8uGXs/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GbjopEQMkGc/Vobr0IgoJyI/AAAAAAAACI0/KvkbWF8uGXs/s640/Samuree3%2B%25285%2529.jpg" width="567" /></a></div>
<br />
But forget about that!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-We have a very odd and ill-conceived anti-drug message we're in the middle of!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/06/awesomewarriors.html"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #999999;">TO THE CRACK HOUSE!!!:</span></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/03/smokecrack.html"><img alt="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/03/smokecrack.html" border="0" height="624" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZqJPjNVPp3A/Vobr6mWwZkI/AAAAAAAACJE/GIzBlEBaMFQ/s640/Samuree3%2B%25288%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NO5cjEWBjew/Vobr-Hg65kI/AAAAAAAACJM/lAYR1tYzOFM/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25289%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NO5cjEWBjew/Vobr-Hg65kI/AAAAAAAACJM/lAYR1tYzOFM/s640/Samuree3%2B%25289%2529.jpg" width="444" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: small;">(<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NO5cjEWBjew/Vobr-Hg65kI/AAAAAAAACJM/lAYR1tYzOFM/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25289%2529.jpg" target="_blank">embiggen</a> for <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wOalGTkY92w/VobrqX_KZTI/AAAAAAAACII/pyu6NRqF4UE/s1600/Samuree3%2B%252810%2529.jpg" target="_blank">reading...</a>)</span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wOalGTkY92w/VobrqX_KZTI/AAAAAAAACII/pyu6NRqF4UE/s1600/Samuree3%2B%252810%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wOalGTkY92w/VobrqX_KZTI/AAAAAAAACII/pyu6NRqF4UE/s640/Samuree3%2B%252810%2529.jpg" width="435" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><h3 class="r">
~Bwahahahahahaha!!! <span style="font-weight: normal;">Ohhhhhhh- fuck you, comic.</span></h3>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">-A</span>nd so it all ends with, what else; Satanists being behind the drug distribution!!! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And a teenage girl being beaten
half-to-death by men who then chloroform Samuree and stand around her; exclaiming they're about
to have <i>"some fun"</i>. Man, Rick James was right! -Cocaine <b><i>is</i></b> a hell of a drug!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Oh, and a terminator-robot shows up too...</div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I</span>t's
not a very cohesive run. The first handful of issues are the best-
then it gets kind of directionless. Samuree had so much potential to be a
truly bad-ass concept/book. But the forced shared-universe thing, and
then the weird drug-message turn it took (by Peter Stone)... entertaining to a point- but not in
a good way.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">-I</span>t's strange to me how these books were marketed towards kids...</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6u8nTDbWNqk/VobrwJpx1OI/AAAAAAAACIk/tWeLrWXlMWM/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6u8nTDbWNqk/VobrwJpx1OI/AAAAAAAACIk/tWeLrWXlMWM/s320/Samuree3%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="237" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WjX_oaE9i9c/VobrlFjJ1sI/AAAAAAAACH8/n0ZHf4W6n4k/s1600/Samuree3%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WjX_oaE9i9c/VobrlFjJ1sI/AAAAAAAACH8/n0ZHf4W6n4k/s320/Samuree3%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Especially when the early issues have such stylized <span class="st">sexualisation</span> in the art. -Or as noted in <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/06/itsallaboutthattaint.html">Part 1</a> (and by <a href="http://romspaceknightart.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-got-your-fu-splash-page-right-here.html">Shlomo</a>): a lot of pretty graphic violence... </div>
Just keep everything you have seen in these three parts in mind as you embiggen and read those in-comic ads of the time. The original Samuree series ran for nine issues between 1987 and 1991, and yes; by issue #7 this was all somewhat tamed-down across the board... but, yeah; still strange.<br />
<br />
Samuree had <b>two</b> more series' after this- so we'll check back in at some point down the road...<br />
<br />
<br />
For now, though... you'll have to find another site to get your taint-shot fix.<br />
<br />
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-9713426858391505972015-06-15T09:00:00.000-04:002015-06-15T09:00:02.610-04:00Taint-misbehavin'! Samuree, Part II:<span style="font-size: large;">D</span>id you think I was fucking joking???<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0Tlb-aXyuTc/VX2jOUFa5sI/AAAAAAAACHc/bGqWKUK03D8/s1600/Samuree2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="465" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0Tlb-aXyuTc/VX2jOUFa5sI/AAAAAAAACHc/bGqWKUK03D8/s640/Samuree2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
-It's all about that taint, 'bout that taint; we're in trouble...<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;">S</span>o, here are issues <b>#2</b> and <b>#3</b> of <i>Continuity Comics'</i> <b>Samuree: Mistress of The Martial Arts</b> by Mark Beachum, Elliot Maggin, Neal Adams, and Akin & Garvey......<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k970Z0heHc0/VX2jMFzouEI/AAAAAAAACHY/C8vfZK6pgvA/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k970Z0heHc0/VX2jMFzouEI/AAAAAAAACHY/C8vfZK6pgvA/s640/Samuree2%2B%25284%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">B</span>eachum's art is so amazing. I genuinely love it even for non-perverted reasons...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">B</span>ut you did not click on this blog for ass-shots... you did not click on <i>this </i>blog for crotch-shots... and even though this comic has plenty of those; so do most comics on the market... No, you <i>all</i> came here for <b>one</b> thing- those sweet, sweet <i>taint-shots:</i><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5TX3yCFTAJ8/VX2jJPD29cI/AAAAAAAACG8/1GMzIl4xDw4/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><br /><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5TX3yCFTAJ8/VX2jJPD29cI/AAAAAAAACG8/1GMzIl4xDw4/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Os-oBpudCsQ/VX2jJuiPjeI/AAAAAAAACHI/dpeQ8C80NOA/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Os-oBpudCsQ/VX2jJuiPjeI/AAAAAAAACHI/dpeQ8C80NOA/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25283%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yf8bTsNVigs/VX2jK-VqS9I/AAAAAAAACHQ/GX5iptG2bGM/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yf8bTsNVigs/VX2jK-VqS9I/AAAAAAAACHQ/GX5iptG2bGM/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25285%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I</span>n the up-coming <b>Part III</b>; I just may actually talk about the plot of the book.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
...Or maybe I'll just show more of Samuree's taint. -Who knows?</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4MTyqLZUT0o/VX2jI_9E-DI/AAAAAAAACHE/OaDwWnp4Zfk/s1600/Samuree2%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="588" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4MTyqLZUT0o/VX2jI_9E-DI/AAAAAAAACHE/OaDwWnp4Zfk/s640/Samuree2%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Samuree: "Here- I'll sit on your face; it tastes just like candy." Megalith: "Whhooouf!"</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-25662232857576153722015-06-12T17:46:00.000-04:002015-06-14T12:16:32.754-04:00The Taint-Shot! Samuree, Part I:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mKeUg12E2rc/VXtLLDqzuYI/AAAAAAAACGA/D1JkxT4ABgE/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mKeUg12E2rc/VXtLLDqzuYI/AAAAAAAACGA/D1JkxT4ABgE/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">~I</span>'ve mentioned before what a fan I am of artist <a href="http://synthetikxs.deviantart.com/"><b>Mark Beachum...</b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can see evidence of it in various posts and videos of mine. And it's <i>no</i> secret that he's... a bit of a perv. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-So, much to the shock of <b>no one</b>- his pencils on 1987's <b>Samuree #1</b> by <i>Continuity Comics</i> feature a lot of, what I call; <i>"taint-shots":</i></div>
<a name='more'></a><div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y02vxPmlxOg/VXtLNepDurI/AAAAAAAACGk/-beXYqg2-vA/s1600/Samuree%25231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y02vxPmlxOg/VXtLNepDurI/AAAAAAAACGk/-beXYqg2-vA/s640/Samuree%25231.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-It's <i>like</i> a 'panty-shot'... <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">but more:</span></i></b></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q7G27R5KVFw/VXtLLzDPg0I/AAAAAAAACGU/n0NPaWMdsgc/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q7G27R5KVFw/VXtLLzDPg0I/AAAAAAAACGU/n0NPaWMdsgc/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25284%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Inks by Ian Akin & Brian Garvey...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-And this is just the <b>first </b>issue!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NEGyIlGD35o/VXtLMA1U9GI/AAAAAAAACGY/Brjeyb2jRoc/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NEGyIlGD35o/VXtLMA1U9GI/AAAAAAAACGY/Brjeyb2jRoc/s1600/Samuree%25231%2B%25285%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Story (because <i>that's </i>why we're here...) by Neal Adams.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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-And stupid<i> kids</i> on The Internet wanna fucking complain about <b>Marvel </b>and <b>DC</b> comics "objectifying" fictional women?!? <b> HA! </b> -Did I mention that the character in question here is underage?<br />
FUCK IT! -Let's see that taint!!! <br />
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There's also a bit of the old ultra-violence:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">-Fucking <i>OUCH!!!</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">-S</span>o stay tuned for <i>much</i> more, as I am reading through the entire series sequentially... for the first time!</div>
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The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-64960864819953443902015-05-11T21:57:00.000-04:002015-05-11T21:57:25.363-04:00Freaky-Frankie-Raye...<span style="font-size: x-large;">~I</span> remember her and the <b>Silver Surfer</b>'s relationship, but...<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q1VST8Z6Z2I/VVFb-_47kJI/AAAAAAAACEw/FDuXujOWJhk/s1600/NovaFR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q1VST8Z6Z2I/VVFb-_47kJI/AAAAAAAACEw/FDuXujOWJhk/s1600/NovaFR.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b>Nova</b> had a... <i>weird</i> connection with <b>Galactus</b> I'd forgotten about.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QIU6hVdkj1E/VVFb-w_rsJI/AAAAAAAACEo/TW-1kM8QaaA/s1600/NovaFR%2B%282%29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QIU6hVdkj1E/VVFb-w_rsJI/AAAAAAAACEo/TW-1kM8QaaA/s400/NovaFR%2B(2).jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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-Like; I don't know about that girl...... she <i>just may</i> need some psychiatric help.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4cE5yp8nk68/VVFb-1wBtZI/AAAAAAAACEs/VufvvtSxjLk/s1600/NovaFR%2B(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4cE5yp8nk68/VVFb-1wBtZI/AAAAAAAACEs/VufvvtSxjLk/s400/NovaFR%2B(1).jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(From <b>The Silver Surfer Super-Size Annual #1</b>: The Evolutionary War. </i></div>
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<i>Pencils by the incomparable Ron Lim, story by Steve Englehart.)</i></div>
<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-30090468316219040022015-05-04T13:00:00.000-04:002015-05-04T16:14:08.458-04:00My 3 Favorite Scenes From Fantastic Four Versus The X-Men #1:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"> ~I </span>have no memory of ever <i>actually </i>reading this one before... So, I guess </div>
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I'ma little late to the game. Picked up a very crisp copy for 33.<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>333333</i> </span>cents from<br />
the local flea-market.<br />
The entire issue is fucking awesome- I mean; <i>Chris Claremont</i>, so obviously it is. -But here are three of my favorite parts:</div>
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(<b> Honorable Mention</b> to: <i>'Longshot and Dazzler on a boat.'</i> ) </center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>III: </b></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Rouge being a total see-you-next-Thursday to Havok-</span></center>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>-Pencils by Jon Bogdanove.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;">-I have no idea what he did, or what happened previously... but that honestly makes it even better. </span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Like an RKO: <i>OUTTA NOWHERE!</i></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">II:</span></b></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sucks to be Reed-<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here; you'll need to play this song while you read the next few panels-</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">-I love when people try and say: "The Fantastic Four are <i>sooo</i> lighthearted, and not serious!"</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">That <i>entire</i> family is<i> completely </i>fucked. -Physically and mentally. FUCKED.</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <b>Damn</b>, Reed... you've got me <i>totally </i>bummed-out over here... I'm just gonna go eat a whole thing of cookies... in the shower... while gently sobbing.</span></span></center>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> I: </span></b></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">She-Hulk's Thing-</span></span></span></center>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(Right-click/View Image to embiggen any page...)</i></span></td></tr>
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-These few pages with <span class="st"><i>Jennifer Walters</i></span> and <i><span class="st">Ben Grimm</span></i> are just so well-written, so nicely illustrated,<br />
<i>so </i>natural, and fun to read... It's one of my favorite things I've read in awhile...<br />
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Plus; Shulkie's top came off... so I'm sure Speedball is nearby, with a pair of binoculars or a telephoto-lens...<br />
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Double-plus; The Thing with a stogie- I loved it that certain comic characters would always smoke back in the day...<br />
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...and so I'll leave you all with this: </center>
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<b>Brucie-Bonus! </b></div>
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Here's Johnny getting punched in the gut real quick:</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mp5OGcaI3FM/VUAXxA1xQ7I/AAAAAAAACDw/Rdxk8A_rn7I/s1600/FFvXMEN%2B%286%29.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mp5OGcaI3FM/VUAXxA1xQ7I/AAAAAAAACDw/Rdxk8A_rn7I/s1600/FFvXMEN%2B(6).jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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HA! That will never get old...</div>
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<b>WHOULGPH!!!</b></div>
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The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-83452176101866645362015-04-27T03:00:00.000-04:002015-04-27T03:00:00.925-04:00Catharsis Theater:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u9T7kEJbkbA/VRJSo15c_5I/AAAAAAAAB-Q/U2h106QtTXo/s1600/Flash79.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u9T7kEJbkbA/VRJSo15c_5I/AAAAAAAAB-Q/U2h106QtTXo/s1600/Flash79.jpg" height="640" width="444" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>(Right-click/View Image to embiggen)</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">~I</span>f the season-finale of <b>The Flash</b><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(on May 19, 2015) </span></span>goes <i>ANYTHING</i> like this;<br />
I'll probably need to change my pants...</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QfDWXPjbwaE/VRJSeBnDHzI/AAAAAAAAB94/q8NRn119u3U/s1600/Flash79%2B(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QfDWXPjbwaE/VRJSeBnDHzI/AAAAAAAAB94/q8NRn119u3U/s1600/Flash79%2B(1).jpg" height="640" width="423" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aehbwrpwoaw/VRJSmAAvtoI/AAAAAAAAB-I/Pf8L2JMicC0/s1600/Flash79%2B(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aehbwrpwoaw/VRJSmAAvtoI/AAAAAAAAB-I/Pf8L2JMicC0/s1600/Flash79%2B(2).jpg" height="640" width="428" /></a></div>
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...because I will have filled them with jizz.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>The Flash #79</b> by <i>Mark Waid, </i>and <i>Greg Larocque</i>.</td></tr>
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954474436358879146.post-16184188590443241852015-04-20T04:20:00.000-04:002015-04-20T14:07:33.158-04:00Burn one today- with Cynder!!!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>~It's 4/20 <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2014/04/chronic-he-man.html">again</a>, y'all!!! </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O4RmB3-9ueg/VS9UpghczAI/AAAAAAAACCM/DpRX-sRQhZg/s1600/420Cynder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O4RmB3-9ueg/VS9UpghczAI/AAAAAAAACCM/DpRX-sRQhZg/s1600/420Cynder.jpg" height="563" width="640" /></a></b></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Xw9fzmJCuPk?rel=0&controls=0" width="420"></iframe><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">-S</span>o, <i>there's </i>something you can listen to as we take a quick look at <i>Immortelle Studios</i>' <b>Cynder, </b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Volume 2, </span><b>#1:</b><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QoFBoy8kX3o/VS9UYSEQ2qI/AAAAAAAACCA/J6Ob1gLXIsQ/s1600/Cynder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QoFBoy8kX3o/VS9UYSEQ2qI/AAAAAAAACCA/J6Ob1gLXIsQ/s1600/Cynder.jpg" height="640" width="438" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LvilrAjc7zo/VS9T9WeHs8I/AAAAAAAACBg/w6cdLEHdetc/s1600/Cynder%2B(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LvilrAjc7zo/VS9T9WeHs8I/AAAAAAAACBg/w6cdLEHdetc/s1600/Cynder%2B(1).jpg" height="640" width="438" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">...and <i>he died!</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PH5GcWgORN8/VS9Uq3c8XwI/AAAAAAAACCc/NoBvrmSfdkA/s1600/flyinghigh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PH5GcWgORN8/VS9Uq3c8XwI/AAAAAAAACCc/NoBvrmSfdkA/s1600/flyinghigh.jpg" height="148" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">-I</span>'ve talked a little about <a href="http://littlethingsincomics.blogspot.com/2015/02/anothercrime.html">this sort of thing</a> before on my blog here, and whether or not something like this has ever <i>really </i>happened or if it was just an urban legend.<br />
I've since come across two more instances, mentioned online, of a child dying while pretending to be Superman... They were both posted within the past decade, but while these sites were <i>"quoting"</i> legit news articles- I could not find the<i> actual </i>news articles anywhere. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A</span>nyways; <i>Bill Maus'</i> <b>Nira X</b> cameos and needs <b>Cynder</b>'s help capturing an evil alien...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rEIPM2plbCM/VS9T6-AX3YI/AAAAAAAACBQ/ZqVoJfAxwsA/s1600/Cynder%2B(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rEIPM2plbCM/VS9T6-AX3YI/AAAAAAAACBQ/ZqVoJfAxwsA/s1600/Cynder%2B(2).jpg" height="640" width="440" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you don't know how to embiggen these pages by now... you <i>must</i> be high.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Spider-Moon? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>SPIDER-MOON?!? </i></b></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-poQaTQC9_xk/VS9UzLHwj6I/AAAAAAAACCo/tFZrMOM2d8M/s1600/no.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-poQaTQC9_xk/VS9UzLHwj6I/AAAAAAAACCo/tFZrMOM2d8M/s1600/no.gif" height="290" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I</span> <i>really</i> hate when they do this kind of thing in comics: Being afraid to mention a brand, band, magazine, show name, or character owned by another company... Just fucking <b>say</b> Spider-Man! If you're <i>seriously</i> <b>that</b> worried about some kind of legal repercussion- then write it as 'Spiderman', or say it like: "I was watching a Saturday-morning cartoon about some kind of spider man." -You're safe. <b> It's okay... </b><br />
Spider-<i>Moon?</i> *groans*<br />
"<i>Ohhh</i>- I<b> think</b> I <b>know</b> who you <b>mean!</b>" <i>-DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...</i><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">¡Obligatory ass-shot!</span></span></b></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wQcClVyQbf0/VS9T7qDf46I/AAAAAAAACBY/1IT3zllCOQc/s1600/Cynder%2B(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wQcClVyQbf0/VS9T7qDf46I/AAAAAAAACBY/1IT3zllCOQc/s1600/Cynder%2B(3).jpg" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">¡Obligatory ass-shot!</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A</span>nother thing I hate that they do in comics, cartoons, or movies- is when they say something like: "This kind of thing only happens in comics/cartoons/movies!" It's so hackneyed...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3rGvEBuDmi8/VS9dkipwKpI/AAAAAAAACC4/mPjNE16AmV8/s1600/Cynder%2B(4).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3rGvEBuDmi8/VS9dkipwKpI/AAAAAAAACC4/mPjNE16AmV8/s1600/Cynder%2B(4).jpg" height="640" width="450" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">-But this is <i>FOR REALS!!!</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Y</span>ou know what else is weird? Nira-X meets Cynder in this <i>and</i> another comic, within the same year, but they each act like it's their first-ever-meeting in both. Is a little continuity too much to ask???<br />
It wouldn't have effected either story if they would have just been like- <i>"Hey, great to see you again!"</i> or something. An editor was asleep on the job... I'm just going to assume it was over at <b>Entity Comics</b> because Nira-X has had annoying little continuity problems of its own. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I</span> think <i>Michael Hernandez</i> is a pretty solid artist... he reminds me a little of <i>Jimmy Palmiotti</i>... but this is a drastic difference from the earlier issues where his brother (and writer/creator of Cynder) <i>David Hernandez</i> inked it- instead of Michael inking his own pencils... plus there was no early-90's digital-coloring.<br />
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It's crazy what a difference something like that makes: </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pgAmKbVY1A4/VS9UGGvA8XI/AAAAAAAACB4/CwT9sghAfTY/s1600/Cynder%2B(6).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pgAmKbVY1A4/VS9UGGvA8XI/AAAAAAAACB4/CwT9sghAfTY/s1600/Cynder%2B(6).jpg" height="640" width="438" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">-From Cynder Vol.1, #1</td></tr>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">L</span>inda K. Hernandez</i>- who usually paints the awesome covers- is an AMAZING artist:<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zZLYl68zSZQ/VS9UD_R7IkI/AAAAAAAACBo/J-C4hxMiHTI/s1600/Cynder%2B(5).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zZLYl68zSZQ/VS9UD_R7IkI/AAAAAAAACBo/J-C4hxMiHTI/s1600/Cynder%2B(5).jpg" height="640" width="442" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">C</span>ynder</b> even had an action-figure! I mean; it sucks. </div>
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-But she had one!: </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F-WDYwiS_Wc/VS9UqqLG7PI/AAAAAAAACCY/rEJ-bgZT1hY/s1600/cynderfigure.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F-WDYwiS_Wc/VS9UqqLG7PI/AAAAAAAACCY/rEJ-bgZT1hY/s1600/cynderfigure.JPG" height="400" width="273" /></a></div>
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I even remember seeing it, back in the day, when it was new... and now that I own ALL of the Cynder comics (thanks to <a href="https://www.mycomicshop.com/">mycomicshop.com</a>) I kind of want the toy... for no real reason.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">T</span>he entire series lasted five issues, in two volumes, plus one Annual and then two crossover specials from 1995 to 1996. The very last Cynder comic to come out was a crossover with Hellina that finished up the storyline from the 2nd Cynder series... <br />
David Hernandez always kept readers informed about the status of the book in the back pages, and they were always very appreciative of their fans. It seemed to me that they were constantly<i> just barely</i> hanging on. Self-publishing is hard. He would talk about that, distribution problems, and how the industry was hurting- and even give tips for other aspiring self-publishers from experiences he had... <br />
After the 90's comic boom, when the bubble popped; the market really was crashing. And you could tell from their continued updates that they were trying to stay positive in spite of their troubles... but it was clear they just weren't getting the amount of sales to make it all worthwhile. They tried crossovers, big name artists doing covers/centerfolds (Adam Hughes, Rob Liefeld, Jimmy Palmiotti, Bill Tucci), and then full color books to try and get themselves noticed; push the numbers up... but in the end, like a lot of self-published comics, they couldn't afford to keep it going. <br />
The storyline of Cynder itself isn't anything groundbreaking- especially by today's standards... But even during the independent comics boom, and the bad-girl craze of the time, it never felt like a cheap cash-in attempt... it was a couple guys (and a lady) who saw an opportunity to do something that they love- professionally.<br />
So they took it. <br />
And, so what that it didn't blow up like they might have hoped- at least they tried. <b>All you can do is try.</b><br />
I respect them for it. And I enjoyed the series for what it was- then and now.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">O</span>ne more thing- at the very end of that final issue; they showed a preview for <i>Lovalle Davis' </i><b>Wardragon</b>, featuring Cynder, that was supposed to come out in 1997: But never did. <br />
I found his <a href="http://lovalleart.deviantart.com/">DeviantArt page</a> recently, though- and it looks like he owns the rights to Cynder now, and Wardragon is called <b>Stormdragon</b>- but besides some sexy pin-ups, very cool redesigns, and random panels on his page- no actual comic has been published as of this date. Which is sad because it looks really good!:<br />
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<a href="http://lovalleart.deviantart.com/"><img alt="http://lovalleart.deviantart.com/" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CVOHmFDOQEU/VS9Ups4LxPI/AAAAAAAACCI/bhlL0EK92Yk/s1600/cynderlovall.jpg" height="640" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now-</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">PACK YOUR BOWLS; LET'S GET STONED!</span></div>
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<br />The King of Thessalyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15406771819941242204noreply@blogger.com7