But where have all the models gone to?

~So, I just read Dazzler #34 by Mike Carlin, and Geoff Isherwood... and it was...... interesting.
The whole thing kinda plays out like an episode of Jem and the Holograms.


Okay- first; an evil organization that you pay to get revenge for you has a business card?   -Subtle. 
Secondly; What could this mean? -For Christ's sake, Dazzler, really!? 
Aren't you an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. now?

Not only does she accidentally stumble upon this only clue, that you'd think whoever had it would be very careful not to drop such an incriminating thing (that really shouldn't even be made by the corporation to begin with), but she accuses the wrong person of being behind it... kind of based on nothing.

-And she only finds out who's behind it all, and why, because he kidnaps her too... Our "hero" solves nothing, and gets a convenient victory. 

POLYESTER!!!  -That's clearly the worst thing about waking up in a dungeon, in your underwear, with a dozen other captive women...
Heh-heh-heh... No, seriously; she's in S.H.I.E.L.D. now:

So, yeah- if you thought the plot to the Catwoman movie was bad... this one involves a crazed fashion-designer who helps to develop teleporter-technology just so he could abduct models, literally; right out of the "bad fashion" they're currently wearing- to be collected in a cell until he has enough of them to use to model his clothes in a runway show?  Or something like that, I don't know- I fell asleep...

Yes, he certainly is crackers...  I mean, this "fashion" is SO gauche!
-Really, never mind that you were all kidnapped, and woke up in a cell... naked.

Then they go up-stairs, where the bad guy is, and reenact the ending of Death Proof on him.

-It's a weird little story. And not of the Dazzler I grew up loving...

...Maybe it's only an honorary-membership? Or an elaborate prank?  
...or Nick Fury lost a bet.
Seriously, how did Alison Blaire get into S.H.I.E.L.D.???


  1. Good question, especially since I doubt she was even on their radar until recently. Even though with her powers and skill set, she, and not the X-Men, could've recruited her.

    Not seeing Gem and the Holograms, as much as I'm getting an attempt at sneaking in the ever popular women in prison snuff stuff. Nice;)

    1. Hahaha- you're not up on your Jem then! Dazzler is TOTALLY Jem!
      -That cartoon was my childhood introduction to Glam and Punk Rock. I was in love with The Misfits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptVxtDYEjpA
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBRkUEzGYGg -this has pretty-much been my evening now... watching all these old numbers.

      But yeah, anyways, there is totally a women in prison / Caged Heat vibe going on too! And you can tell Geoff Isherwood loved drawing every minute of it.

      Well, I know Agent Dazzler was replaced by Mystique a bit ago... but I don't know what happened with that storyline yet.

  2. don't worry K.o.T i'm sure an episode of Agents of SHIELD featuring Alison Blair is coming right up just special for you. not that i would be able to give you a heads up about i've completely thrown in the towel with all comic book based TV shows. you and Dale already know how much i hate all CW shows and Agents of SHIELD has been nothing but mediocre all last season. i was watching Gotham passively for a while there but the only thing that had me at all interested in it was The Penguin and Jada Pinket Smith she's so fucken hot have you seen the recent cover of SHAPE magazine!? Constantine isn't bad but it just hasn't really grabbed me for some reason i can't put my finger on. so i'm done with all that shit none of it is a good use of my time or my DVR's storage space.

    1. That would actually be cool! But I doubt it will happen, I think Fox owns the rights to her...
      Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the most improved show on TV! I hated it first season... but how can you not like it now? Absorbing Man! Inhumans! The Daisy Johnson reveal! MISTER HYDE! I mean, there's still room for improvement- but it's made one hell of a turnaround.

      I hate CW shows too... but Arrow and Flash are comic-book-shows, first and foremost. Took Arrow awhile to find it's groove but they are both firing on all cylinders! And I can't wait for Vixen!

      I have absolutely NO interest in the baby-Batman show. And I preemptively have no interest in that Krypton show they are making either... Constantine had a rough start because of the actress leaving and them ruining the pilot with re-shoots... but the last couple of episodes were really good- I'm surprised to hear it was renewed! -I'll give it a chance to fully redeem itself when it comes back.

      I saw Throne of Atlantis... wasn't impressed. I liked War, but Throne is just an Aquaman origin story. I like Aquaman fine but... Nice animation (not as good as War, though), good voice-acting, and a few really cool little scenes... but overall it just bored the crap out of me. Just like the Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern origin animated movies did.

    2. i fucken hate it when i look back at a previous comment and discover the stupid typos i made my last sentence was supposed to read "so i'm done with all that shit none of it ISN'T a good use of my time or my DVR's storage space." the last season of Agents of SHIELD was such a fucken snooze fest which it's not to say it didn't have anything going for it but not enough consistently to keep my interest. can't believe you of all people all of a sudden like it you used to bash it practically as bad as i do Arrow and steve dikto's art. i would say SHIELD was firing on all cylinders in the second season even though it still needed on tune up but in the most recent season it started stalling again like it did in season one as far as i'm concerned. at any rate i'm not going to bother with any of that shit from now on as for Throne to Atlantis i'm assuming you saw it online some how already or hacked into DC Comics : ) haven't seen it myself yet but i'll be sure to let you know when i do of course.

    3. Any show can improve in its second season... They're not all winners right out the gate. Buffy:TVS is one of my all-time favorites, but season one was kinda shit. Sometimes a show needs to simmer awhile before it's good to eat. Arrow's first season was pretty terrible, save a few episodes... Supernatural season one is a completely different show!
      I did hate A.o.S. at first- and I had every right to- it was an awfully bad show, full of wasted potential, that was ignoring it's comic-book roots. Season 2 was a DRASTIC improvement. And you even just agreed season 2 was good. -That was just this last season- there has been no season 3 yet. And I don't see how you could find anything with Mister Hyde boring!
      Speaking of boring- yeah, Throne to Atlantis is up online if you know where to look... You'll prolly like it- way, way too many long, tired "action" scenes with pointless violence just to be "mature" and the main story is just a boring retread of Aquaman's origin. There are a couple parts where they do something cool- but it's not enough to save the entire movie. War was good in spite of being Nu52-based. Throne is not...

    4. well there must have been some sort of mid season break that left me with the impression there was a season 3. Bill Paxton's character was pretty cool and the whole Ward being a traitor was as well and who didn't like the Winter Soldier connection? but after Paxton's character was killed off and Ward was taken into custody shit got kinda boring and less interesting to me by the episode. War over all wasn't bad my one real criticism about it was the parademon and Darksied fighting just got a bit tedious after while kinda like with the final fight between Neo and Agent Smith in the last Matrix film it's like alright already please someone just win already.

    5. Most shows have a mid-season break these days. Bill Paxton is always awesome! But the show only got better after all that stuff, in my opinion...
      Man, you thought the fight-scenes in War got tedious? Throne almost put me to sleep a few times...