The TOP 10 Best, Most Greatest, Marvel Comics / Superheroes EVER Of All The Times!!!

-Not my opinions... This is cold, HARD fact.  
These are simply the best Marvel Comics / Characters that have EVER been produced!!!

You can disagree- but you'd just be wrong. 

...and a loser!

So, let's get it started with-
#10.) The Illuminator

Marvel comics and Thomas Nelson Publishers got together to produce this little gem of a comic about a Christian superhero!  I, personally, LOVE being preached at by a comic book!  Jesus is awesome.
Andrew "Andy" Prentiss is just a young high-school outcast who gains wonderful powers one night in the woods at summer-camp when a strange light in the sky suddenly surrounds him- thus making him: The Illuminator!

 Not long after that he meets Gus- the custodian of a local church, and old biker.  Believing Andy has received his powers from God; Gus gives Andy his old motorcycle helmet and jacket, and helps lead Andy to Biblical truths as he deals with peer pressure, and battles demon-possessed drug dealers!


(Lasted for three prestige-format issues.)

#9.) Solarman
               -I just talked about him the other day...

Dorky teenager; Benjamin Tucker dreams of becoming an artist for Marvel Comics, but his Dad wants him to be a stupid jock. His Mom is dead.
A drunk alien crash-lands on Earth, the best fucking planet ever, and gives him the Circlet of Power! 

Clouds permitting- he becomes Solarman!  And with the help of Beepie; the coolest robot ever, he defeats the evil Warlord Commander Gormagga Kraal!

(Lasted for just two issues.)

Some people like to hate on Solarman- but he got a cartoon where he fought Daleks, so suck it!:


#8.) Meteor Man

Yeah, based off that Robert Townsend movie we all saw a million fucking times back in the early nineties...
(I saw it in theaters three times, myself. It was at the $1.50 theater- give me a break!)

Jefferson Reed is a mild-mannered school teacher in a neighborhood terrorized by a local gang called the Golden Lords. He tries to rescue a woman from the gang one night, but ends up hiding in a dumpster like a coward...  But then- as he climbs out of it, he is struck by a glowing green meteorite!  He awakens several days later, miraculously healed, and has been granted superhuman abilities!  Like super-strength, flight, and being able to touch a book and absorb its contents to use for 30 seconds! 

He has even teamed up with Spider-Man, and Night Thrasher ("Because, of course Night Trasher!" says Dwayne McDuffie as he spins in his grave.)

(Lasted for six issues, and a special.)

 #7.) Nikki Doyle: Wild Thing

-Because virtual reality is SO cool, you guys...  Has VR.5 and VR Troopers taught us nothing of the 90's?

Nikki enters virtual reality games and even cyberspace itself; in order to destroy a virtual drug more addictive than heroin! She even battled Venom, and Carnage... but, like- not really... they were fake V.R. versions... 

Plus, I mean- come on- she is SO sexy!: 


(Lasted for seven issues... oh, really? -That's the cover that got it canceled??? Don't know why... it's so good!)

#6.) NFL SuperPro:

-I said that already.

How awesome is football, right?  GO SPORTS!!!

Phil Grayfield's pro-football career ended tragically due to a non-football related injury. A mysterious sports collector, who also happened to be a scientist, then shows him his "greatest achievement": the SuperPro armor! Later an accident involving experimental chemicals, a fire, melting football souvenirs, the SuperPro suit, and Phil- results in NFL Superpro's creation!
He uses his new amazing abilities to fight crime and defend the sport he loves from forces that would seek to corrupt it! -By doing a lot of punting, and throwing, and tackling of villains like Quick Kick, and Instant Replay!
He has even teamed up with both Spider-Man, and Captain America!

"I beat up a guy called SuperPro last week. Silliest looking guy..."
-Stilt Man

(Lasted for twelve issues, and a Special.)

#5.) Combo Man

I love me some Combos (no- really!) and you know I love comics!!!  So- combining them is, obviously, a great idea!
Rick Wilder was a normal dumb student who happened across a running A.I.M super-device and dropped his comics and ate a Combo all at the same time. -This transformed him into Combo Man! He then defeated A.I.M., and Super-Adaptoid! 
Combo-Man has the powers and abilities of a dozen heroes and villains, including: Spider-Man, Captain America, Hulk, Iron Man, Punisher, Wolverine, Cyclops, Magneto, Dr. Doom, Human Torch, Silver Surfer, Gambit, Carnage, and Daredevil.

(Was only a one issue promotional comic.)

-How sure are we that Combo Man wasn't really just Stan Lee?:

#4.) The Orkin Exterminator

'Nuff said, True Believer!!!

(Lasted for one, technically two, issues...)

#3.) Super Hero

Yes, A Superhero! From The Generic Marvel Comic Book #1.

-The exciting story of a super hero and a super villain as only a writer and a penciler could bring to you! And with an inker doing the inking, you KNOW you're in for a treat!

(Lasted for one seriously amazing issue...)

#2.) Onyx

What do you do when you are rappers in post-atomic holocaust New York?

SLAM! Er, I mean- Fight!

Set in the future of... 1999: Sticky Fingaz, Fredro Starr and Sonny Seeza take on evil bootleggers, and aliens in a post-apocalyptic New York City.

And it makes sure to let you guys know that pirating music is WRONG!  And BAD!  There should be a new, stronger word for pirating music- like badwrong, or badong. Yes, downloading music illegally is badong!  
I never, EVER download music illegally! 

(Onyx: Fight was a one issue special...)


#1.) Kal-AOL Turner / Micky / Marville

Bill Jemas is an amazing writer- and makes PERFECT sense!  He's fucking enlightening!
-And not pretentious at all!!!

How to even begin to describe this awesome book, that makes SO much logical sense, and taught us all so much about ourselves...  I highly recommend this series.  It it truly a work of high-art on every level!  (Is this too much?  I know, I know- I feel as dirty writing all this as you must reading it.  I also may have soiled myself.)   


 It's just too perfect for words! One issue is SO perfect that it does not even need word-balloons.  Another issue is SO magnificent- it's not even a story!!! Can you believe it?

And it is the very cutting edge of topical humor and comedic cohesion:

 I mean... this comic... this comic is JUST so WONDERFUL.  It's worth a million dollars, for sure!

Marville was created as part of Marvel's U-Decide event, in which fans would decide which of three books would survive. This was the CLEAR winner.  Peter David's Captain Marvel was the absolute WORST!  I definitely do not own every issues of THAT train-wreak of a comic!

(Lasted for, technically, seven issues... we are all so lucky!)

Wow, Mental Organisms... what a list I put together for you to bask in all day long, huh? -Give it up for me!  I'm great! This is a total success! Why, just like the covers to Marville- I'd say this post was:

-Now go read some GOOD comics!


  1. LOL!
    Good job sir.
    DAT NIKKI WYLDE! She's right around the time of Aeon Flux. Damn they look like identical twins.

    Combo Man is considered a character? What about Forbush Irving(Brand ECHHS) , The Stuntmaster, Spider-Ham, Captain Ultra, so many.

    1. Yeah, Nikki Doyle... *shudder* Fucking awful!
      Good call on the Aeon Flux connection- I don't know how; but I never fucking noticed that. That is EXACTLY what she's supposed to be. I remember buying the first few issues of that shit back in '93 because I was like- "Oh cool! She's gonna fight Venom AND Carnage!"
      Plus that art... I mean- a few panels here and there looked alright- but overall that art is fucking abysmal! Duke Mighten is the penciler's name. Trying to get that Peter Chung look. Reminds me of Joe St. Pierre a little too- but I like his art.

      Sure Combo Man is a character! He fought the 'ol Super-Adaptoid, and the angry beekeepers... that puts him in 616 continuity as far as I'm concerned.

      Captain Ultra! Hahaha! He's "EVERY INCH a superhero!"

      I was trying to stick with characters who also had comics of their very own- that I own still, or owned, and were either so-bad-it's-good, or just really, really, really, really, really, really fucking bad.

      Looks like I was the April Fool, though- because this post got, like, 10 views. D'oh!

  2. don't forget about Team America. also, STAR Comics (a subsidiary of Marvel) did Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos, penciled by your boy steve ditko no less http://ditko.blogspot.com/2009/04/chuck-norris-1-1987.html

    1. The Thunderiders? Hahaha! -Based on the Ideal Toys in an effort to replace their Evel Knievel line... I never had any of the Team America (FUCK YEAH!) comics though... You?
      Chuck Norris. Fuck that guy. Over-rated meme that he his. Bruce Lee kicked his ass, son! Do you remember that cartoon? I was, like, six years old and I still knew Karate Kommandos sucked ass.

      I have some Star Comics stuff coming up a couple times this month, actually. Next week, and then again on 4/20! WOOT! FOUR-TWENTY!!!

  3. K.o.T, check out how that new Rom custom auction is doing today.

    1. Fuck!
      -Do you know how much weed I could buy with $200!!!

  4. LOL this is a great post - I didn't even know Combo Man got his own book! Nikki Doyle has no spine. But hey that stuffs up the initials T&A so who needs that right? :)

    1. Thanks, man... How's the move going?

      I don't think ANYONE knew Combo Man had his own book. -I remember seeing that damn ad in EVERY fucking Marvel comic at the time, and even I only found out about the comic a few years ago!

      Wild Thing... Hey, I have a penis and therefor love me some T&A, it just can't be helped. But that is the WORST kind of T&A there is in comics... I much prefer the Frank Cho, JML, Terry Dodson kind.