Marvel. Universe.

 ~Happy Hanukkah, everyone!  

From: The-

-From The New Captain Marvel #42 (1975) by Steve Englehart and Al Milgrom.

Oh, Rick Jones; everyone's favorite superhero groupie-whore, you never disappoint: 

(Embiggen to read)

-Okay, I added that last line, but we were all thinking it.

'...never call myself something dumb like Marvel Boy!'

...Poor Vance, that guy just can't get a break.

...

-I love the Captain Universe-concept.  It works so much better than something like Dial H for Hero (in my opinion, anyways...) -But I noticed, while Reading Marvel Spotlight on... #9, that the Steve Coffin version of Captain Universe had some... weird exclamations... (And, I didn't read The Micronauts series, but I think he may also be mildly retarded...)

-Burt Ward, ladies and gentlemen...

Ummm- racist!

"Yippee!" -He says after using The Uni-Power to molecularly rearrange a floor lamp into a pair of nunchuks, that he swings wildly overhead, as he comically chases some evil shadow-men down a long hallway.  

Unparallelled universal power... and he's basically just a cross between Napoleon Dynamite, and
Doug from Ghost World.

"I have no idea what I'm capable of; even though this issue started with my Dad telling me everything he was capable of when HE was Captain Universe that one time!"

"Dynamite!!!" -He then says after turning a hospital-cart into a skateboard to get away...
Infinite Power Cosmic... and now he's Bart Simpson.

 "Beans!"  -He says before declaring Captain Universe's true allegiances...

"It's AMERICA, dude: Learn the rules!"

Again- I think he grows up to be Doug from Ghost World.

Also, he's VERY... referential?:

Yes... Spider-Man is a popular comic. Thank you for referencing it.

 Yes... Superman: The Movie did recently come out.
Thank you for referencing it.

Yes... Star Wars is a thing we all love.  Thank you for referencing it.

 "Zowie!" -He says before getting sued.  

A never-ending supply of energy at his disposal... and he's that Star Wars Kid from YouTube.

And I "get it", I joke... but I get it- Steve Coffin's just supposed to be a little kid; and what would any kid do if they had the power to do it?

-Dumb fucking shit like this.

(Doesn't matter anyways- he's fired!  Extremely high turnover in being Captain Universe.)

But the levels of Bill Mantlo not giving a fuck in this book are off the charts! This thing is approaching SolarMan levels! You can just feel Mantlo and Jim Shooter screaming at each other- oozing off the pages; as Al Milgrom tries to break them up, and Steve Ditko sits in the corner, quietly sobbing, practicing drawing eyes...

God bless you, Mantlo.

-Bless us, every one!