DC Comics' Millennium, Part II

~So, what's the other part of this comic about?
Well, former Guardian; Heru (and his mate; Nadia) gather a group of 'chosen ones' (who will advance the next level of human evolution into the new... millennium. get it?) all of different ages, races, religions etc... to be representative of the entire human race... and then there's Jason Woodrue: The Floronic Man (who is always awesome btdubs)... but then also this guy for some reason?:

-It's not THAT funny, Kilowog.  Take a breath...

It's never explained why he's there- what his purpose is (except to suck as a person)- he just says a bunch of bigoted things, every one hates him, and eventually he just says "Fuck this!" and leaves and no one cares or tries to stop him, and John Stewart punches him in the face with a big green ring fist...  I suppose he goes on to be a foil for the New Guardians in their comic... whatever.

~100th post! DC's MILLENNIUM!!!

-For all the shit it gets... Millennium wasn't bad at all.........



...okay, okay; HALF of the 1987 Millennium crossover/event wasn't bad.  The other half was pretentious, presumptuous, had too many plot-holes, and led to the truly horrendous New Guardians comic series.   -BUT the Manhunter half of the story-line was really fucking cool!!!  And a lot of neat things happened in the eight issues by Steve Englehart, Joe Staton, and Ian Gibson...  too many to go over here.  However- for my 100th post; I'd like to share a few of the little things that made me laugh.

In case you're unfamiliar: As the Dalek's say "Exterminate!", and The Borg say "Resistance is futile..."; The Manhunter's saying is "No Man Escapes The Manhunters!" and they are in full-on Hail-Hydra-whisper-mode in this part of the story...  They've infiltrated the entire DC Universe, replacing high ranking officials and many supporting characters with androids, willing human agents, and/or mind-controlled ones...

And look how progressive, and inclusive, The Manhunters are being!  It's good to see that even though they are evil- they're growing as people.

Also, the fact that Martian Manhunter is in the Justice League while all this is happening does not go unreferenced:

J'onn J'onzz: "What!?  Nooo... I'm not a *air quotes* Manhunter *air quotes*

What ever gave you that idea? I never have been, or will be, referred to as such."

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so...

~I talked very briefly about issue #1 of Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective, by Mark Gruenwald & Mike Gustovich, awhile ago...  I recently got the other three issues of the series, and after giving it a read- all I can say is:

Wait... what?

Search Keywords IV: Tentacle Grape

~You may have noticed that, until recently, I was away for quite awhile...

Long enough that there was plenty of new Search Keywords in my Blogger Stats section.  

So- once more unto the breach, Mental Organisms; to find out what people were Googling when they somehow, mostly accidentally, came across my site. And I shall attempt to give them what they truly wanted.  

Shockingly... It has been worse in past editions.  Maybe there is hope for humanity.

Or maybe they are all just too busy searching for "nova frankie raye naked":

But why did they feel the need to add in the qualifier "naked"??? That's how she is ALL OF THE TIME.  She has no costume! -Power Cosmic Chic.
Even The Silver Surfer eventually stopped wearing his trunks...

Wait... no wonder they hooked-up!; they were the only Heralds of Galactus who never had clothes on.  -They were always ready to go.

 Alright, what's next?  

                             "avengelyne spank"

                                                      Help yourself?:

A Star Wars "Parody"

~Who's tired of hearing about Star Wars yet?         -Nobody?!? 

Good.

Everyone fucking loves Star Wars!

-Those boots!!!  So ridiculously awesome!

-This is Entity Comics' 1997 one-shot parody of the Star Wars films (written and illustrated by Bill Maus), made just to take a few digs at the (then) current theatrically re-released / CGI-added versions of the movies; or really just the concept of them... I guess?  I'm actually not sure what the point / reasoning was for this comic having been made.  $$$

Samuree, Part III: So Long, and Thanks for All the Taint.

 Finally, exploitation aside... The actual plot:

~Samuree is a white teenager who was stranded on an isolated Asian island as a young child.  -You may have noticed, in the previous parts, her totally non-racist and broken-English way of speaking... and that is the reason why.   She was trained in the ways of super-secret martial arts of the non-iron-fisted variety.  So the basic plot, possibly unique at the time, is just a little bit been-there-and-done-that by now...
Enter: Evil Nazi Scientists! -Who stumbled across the island and used it, and it's population, to master the technique of reanimating the dead to use as soldiers.
But they too get stranded on the island, and miss the rest of the war.  Proceeding to instead destroy everything and everyone Samuree has known and loved- and she swears vengeance!

-Cut to modern day New York, where Zombie Soldiers are being sold to the highest bidder for crime/henchmen/private-militia reasons by the one surviving, evil, Nazi Scientist!
Also- HEY!: Look at all these other Continuity Comics characters who show up!   Eat our shared universe, even if you're not hungry for it!!!

Don't worry- we'll force it down your fucking throat for your convenience!

...From there she just gets her revenge on the Nazis, then moves on to battle a sorceress, and then later on an ancient demon because of reasons... Each story-line becoming less interesting than the last.