Ka-Zar is kind of a dick.

"-Everything dies... What's the point?  Life... don't talk to me about life...

-And then she; Shanna the She-Devil, (and I'm being for real- it's not a joke) proceeds to fuck him. 

What was it exactly?  -His heartlessness, his sarcasticness, his I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude, or just his general emo-ness that got her all turned-on???  Oh, right- it was the buff, nakedness...
Anyways... the morning after they get it on- he goes off to look for his partner/friend Zabu, the sabre-toothed tiger... And being a total dick seems to be working for him- so he continues to do that when he sees a group of travelers being attacked....

But he decides to lift more than a finger when he sees the victim is another woman he can go be a dick to...

He's not being "cute", he's being a smarmy asshole.

-The Queen here is not exactly throwing herself at him after he acts like a dick-hole; so he's right back into "you're not my problem" mode...  But she actually begs for his forgiveness... and falls to her knees... and cries- until he says he'll help her.

What?  -What's pretty?  The fire?  The cat-killing ceremony??  All the shirtless men???

-And then he tries to fuck her:

"No does not mean 'no' to Ka-Zar!"

What I did not mention earlier is that he just told Shanna that he loved her, and they should totally move-in together, before he left... and that she should think about it while he's gone.

Dude... such a dick!

So, even though she is tempted- because what woman doesn't love being treated like crap, am I right? -she decides that she doesn't want to be a cheating whore- and he's just a bit too much of a dick to make it worth it.

Kazar's reaction to this rejection is to... you guessed it- be a fuckin' dick!:

And he only enters the fray to help AFTER Zabu comes out of nowhere to stop the ritual himself!

Kazar is a dick as much as Nova curses...

Kazar is a bigger dick than Ronnie Raymond is a piece of shit.

He reminds me of IronJaw...

Leanne is happy to have her tiger back, safe and sound, so she's nice to Kazar again... witch means, of course, he instantly confesses his love for her- and says they should totes move in together! And the kicker is that she's okay with it!!!  Seriously, what the fuck???
I guess what happens in The Savage Land stays in The Savage Land... to bad they all live in The Savage Land! -Poor Shanna......

On the trip back to his palatial new home, Kazar stops to kill some kinda prehistoric antelope to cook for their dinner. But they find out that it had a calf-  Kazar quickly "destroys" it, saying it won't survive without its mother.  This clearly sours The Queen on Kazar, yet again... so much so that when they get back to her palace- she says it's not really a good idea for him to come in...

-So Kazar says: "Whatever, bitch! Fuck you anyways... you're probably a lesbian.  I'm going home to my back-up bitch.  This never happened."

Nowhere inside Kazar: The Savage #1 does it mention the creative team.  This comic has no credits...
The internet says it was scripted by Bruce Jones and penciled by Brent Anderson (who also did the cover).
The art is great... but were they embarrassed by how terrible the hero of the book came out? -Were the names withheld by accident, or did they pull an Alan Smithee???

I hated this comic.
It's good to make fun of, in retrospect; but it's a terrible read. I kind of want to see where it's going, though...


  1. Wow. Now that's a big dick!!!!
    I don't think I've ever seen Ka-Zar act like this before. He's straight up aping off early Conan or something. Not to mention openly making moves another chick while trying to get another one to move in with him? Cheating on Shanna? Never happen man. Who wrote this shit indeed.....

    1. RIGHT???
      I've read Kazar quite a few times in my life- mostly from guest appearances in other titles- but I don't ever remember him ever acting like this either. It is written "barbarian-style", yeah- like Conan- but also like IronJaw: He's just less misogynistic than- but still a total prick.
      And, seriously; if I existed in this fictional universe- I would have no desire at all to mess around on Shanna: The fucking She-Devil! -Dude must be out of his god-damned-mind... http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WstpZuJSEjA/UmqwuCZjKwI/AAAAAAAAFuI/0ifLf7T0YOU/s1600/shan.jpg

  2. the only issue of Ka-Zar i ever had was when i ended up with #8 in a comic swap back in the early 80s. i never got into the character i think a Tarzan like title just isn't my thing but i liked the clip art you posted (funny commentary to) i think Ka-Zar was a on the right track he could have banged her if she wasn't so obsessed with her pet cat.

    1. Nice. For me it was #16. Ka-Zar is one of those books that pops up a lot.
      Yeah- he's like Tarzan meets Conan but vs. Dinosaurs. Sounds cool when you put it that way- but he was never really my thing either. I've enjoyed other comics he's guested in though. He's got old-school 70's roots too... with Spider-Man, Daredevil, and of course The X-Men.
      Thanks, man... glad you enjoyed it- I did not.

  3. Prehistoric antelope: syndeoceras.