The Taint-Shot! Samuree, Part I:

~I've mentioned before what a fan I am of artist Mark Beachum...

You can see evidence of it in various posts and videos of mine.  And it's no secret that he's... a bit of a perv.  

-So, much to the shock of no one- his pencils on 1987's Samuree #1 by Continuity Comics feature a lot of, what I call; "taint-shots":

Freaky-Frankie-Raye...

~I remember her and the Silver Surfer's relationship, but...

My 3 Favorite Scenes From Fantastic Four Versus The X-Men #1:

(embiggen)

 ~I have no memory of ever actually reading this one before... So, I guess 

I'ma little late to the game.  Picked up a very crisp copy for 33.333333 cents from
the local flea-market.
The entire issue is fucking awesome- I mean; Chris Claremont, so obviously it is.  -But here are three of my favorite parts:

( Honorable Mention to: 'Longshot and Dazzler on a boat.' )       

Burn one today- with Cynder!!!

~It's 4/20 again, y'all!!! 

 

Kang The Conquer's sex-change.

~click this for awesome~
https://soundcloud.com/ookla-the-mok/kang-the-conqueror
~click this for awesome~ 

 

Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective #1, by Mark Gruenwald & Mike Gustovich

Ka-Zar is kind of a dick.

"-Everything dies... What's the point?  Life... don't talk to me about life..." 

-And then she; Shanna the She-Devil, (and I'm being for real- it's not a joke) proceeds to fuck him. 

So, does it make me a bad person if...

So... does it make me a bad person if I couldn't stop laughing when I read this in Continuity Comics' Samuree Vol 2 #1: Possessed By The Rise Of Magic?

-Speaking of Firestorm...

Firestorm isn't DC's only cool "match-headed" character.  -There's also the fuckin' Waverider!  

Things always get awesome when he shows up...

This is Armageddon/Inferno #1 by John Ostrander, Luke McDonnell, and Tom Mandrake.

-Almost there...

   Here we are, my Mental Organisms, with the last post of the month already!  Post #47, to be precise...  I'll have to do something special for the big #50!  I'm talking special-cover COLLECTOR'S ITEM special!  -Just like they did with comics in the 90's: Every twenty-five issues was a big deal for some reason! (That's a link is to my 25th Post by the way.)

But first off:  Doctor Doom is bored with this conference meeting.  -Doom would rather be...

...SHOPPING!

-Fox Kids & Marvel Comics bring you: SOLARMAN!

~The #1 issue I'll be talking about in this post is an adaptation of the cartoon show's failed pilot- originally made, and released on VHS in 1989 to tie-in with the Marvel comic of the same name; Solarman (penciled by Jim Mooney, and created by David Oliphant.) It eventually aired as a "special" in 1992, on Fox Kids.

The episode clocks in at around 22 minutes long... Now, how long does it usually take you to read a standard super-hero comic? -Five, maybe seven minutes? Ten to twelve minutes at the most.  So, right from the start- they have to condense the script down by, at least, half... and it's Stan Lee who adapts this too!  -That combination makes this comic SO hilariously, generically, matter-of-factly straight-forward.  I can't stop laughing at it, and reading these ridiculous conversations aloud (which really freaks out my cat)... 

-I just had to share some of this little gem with you.

 

UBIQUITOUSLY STANDARD-SPACE-PLOT MODE HAS BEEN INITIATED:

The Weird Hookers:

~Because what better way to remind the reader who The Weird is... than with space-hookers?

 From Mystery In Space with Captain Comet #6 by Jim Starlin and Al Milgrom

For a lack of better words...

From The Dark #1 (Continüm Comics, 1990)

"Blimey"? 

-Come on, Dark!  You're surrounded by eleven Beach-Head cosplayers with fucking LIGHTSABERS and exclaiming "blimey" is all you can muster?  Really?  -Blimey?!?

*shakes head*

Speedball's back! To Bounce Or Not To Bounce-

-That darn cat...

I know I've mentioned how great this 6-page Speedball back-up story from The New Warriors Annual #1 is somewhere before... An old video? Or comment-section somewhere???  
Anyways- that's not important...
I think that it's so entertaining that I've decided to just post the entire damn thing here so you can all check it out. -In honor of the All-New Marvel NOW! New Warriors relaunch:

-more after the jump-

Sex On The Brain:

Wait, what?

-You ever read a panel in a comic and have to instantly reread it because you took what they said all wrong in your head?  Because all I could think was; 'Damn, Zatanna needs laid.  She's got sex on the brain.'  !eikciuq a rof enitnatsnoC  llaC-

Also from Zatanna: Come Together #1: She foolishly/desperately goes to the evil sorcerer Tannarak for help... and, of course, he's chatting civilly with her at first, for about a page, and then...

Fool Terrax once, shame on... shame on you. Fool Terrax- he can't get fooled again.

~I just got back from visiting family in Kentucky, and I can't remember the last time it snowed like that there!!!  So- firstly; in honor of all the Winter-weather- you can file this under: Gee, ya think???:
 

 

Oh... okay. -She's cold!  
Felicia's cold, everybody... 

Well then it makes perfect sense why she changed her costume form that- to this:

 

-That's... that's much warmer.

It's VD!!! -With the Avengelyne Swimsuit Edition #1

Yes, I know the Rob Liefeld cover is a swipe of Niki Taylor from some 1995 Calendar... so what?  I always have defended Liefeld- and as an amateur "artist" myself: I defend working from photographs, "swiping", and even tracing... Know who else does? Legendary comic book artist Neal Adams!

-Listen to him on Kevin Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast as he lays it alllllllll out for you. -It's amazing. I've never heard it put better: http://smodcast.com/episodes/neal-adams-kneel-before-neal/  

It's towards the end of it- if you're just looking for that part specifically... around 52 minutes in.  But if you have the time- this is a gripping three-part discussion with the man about all kinds of things.  Including creating Green Lantern- John Stewart,  helping Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, The X-Men, and of course- his work on Batman.

... 

 

Anyways- on with the subject of today's post: Rob Liefeld created Avengelyne, along with former Vampirella convention model; Cathy Christian- with her also being the model for the character, because... well, because like any other guy who saw her dressed as Vampi back in the day- he probably wanted to fuck her:

Just because something is "good" doesn't make it above critism...

~And then there was that one time Deathlok's son brought him in for Show & Tell, and Deathlok was heckled by a fat kid- so he murdered him!:

Bolognium:

Hey, everyone- check out Metamorpho's "trollface":

So the Justice League International is interviewing for new members in issue #24:

-Little Things In Comics: Fuckin' NOVA!!!

It's the fucking little things in fucking comics that make me fucking laugh... like how often Nova fucking curses:

And...

There's always more after the fuckin' jump!

-Little Things In Comics: Nova!

It's the little things in comics that make me laugh... like when I'm reading Nova #1 and have to wonder to myself: Did... did Richard Rider's eyes just puke?:

-Yes, yes they did...

Mountain Dew is TERRIBLE for you, you guys!

So, in this issue- Gladiator shows up for a fight: